Not perfect

I'm not perfect. Adoption isn't easy. Bonding is hard, maybe sometimes impossible. It's not like you read on every blog or see on YouTube or tv.

I have found it nearly impossible to bond to Emily. Ok I said it. Unfortunately it's very true. Her ODD and RAD may have something to do with it. Maybe it was bad timing. Maybe because she's nonverbal, or because she was older? Though I doubt it's the older thing because I did bond right away with Miss I. So really I'm not sure why.

But there it is, in all its ugly glory. The only reason we went forward with her adoption is because hubby did bond. So yeah, he's better than I am at this blending thing. Or maybe during that bonding time I was grieving too much over the losses of Jackie and Miss I then focused on David when he came.

Whatever it is, it is.