So overall I have done a lot of bitching on here. I mean it was crazy stuff that went down, and honestly still is. I am sure that it's just the nature of the beast.
Hubby and I were talking, despite really being ready for this placement to end, we both agreed that it was getting easier. I guess it was a huge culture shock for us. The dynamics of our family had changed drastically and a bit unexpectedly.
Now though we are starting to settle into a more "normal" pattern and I can see glimpses of the "FAMILY" that I have always wanted starting to develop. The large family.
Right now we have 4 kids at home, 1 away at college, and 1 away at Basic Training who is also engaged! It's that dynamic sort of busy that I have always wanted. The concept of big family gatherings, bustling dinners, etc... are within our grasp. (Even if some of those kids aren't typical-they still have a special place and great value to our family)
Right now the issue is that I really am sick of shared parenting and that is what the biggest issue is with the 3 we have now. We have gotten used to the drama of 3 little girls. We have gotten skilled at anticipating the triggers of the oldest and the ODD that is guaranteed to show it's head. We have celebrated the middle girls new found excitement at life! Besides the whining of the little one that just makes my ears bleed, her innocence is starting to show and her exploration of the world with wonder is a joy to witness. It's all starting to come together. But it's not forever.
The 4 here now aren't our forever children. They are just borrowed and that kinda makes me sad. Why? Because just as we get into the groove of establishing a family, things will change and we will have start over.
Don't get me wrong, by NO means would we ever keep the girls! It's more like putting in a lot of hard work, only to start all over again.
But NEW is exciting, but also... yeah I am dreading it too!
Hey, that's what blogs are good for, venting. If all your posts were peachy perfect I'd be concerned LOL. I have a big family and I know it's not always peachy perfect lol. I can't even imagine how hard it is when they are borrowed children that you need to sort of rewire, then start over. You guys are doing great! Keep it up! Hopefully you have your forever big family so once you're in the groove you feel secure knowing you guys will stay in the groove.
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