Is it a 180 or a 360?

I don't even know where to begin... but let's just say that we are going from 3 to 4 little girls in a matter of a few short days hours. As we speak a staffing has already been done, a call to the AG has been made for an immediate placement change, and a FM has been made aware that the adoption is moving forward despite her attempts to block it.

So let's back up, yesterday, I sent a heart felt email back to the placing agency with my concerns over yesterday's email, which included this statement; "I figured she would say things like this to prove her "fight" against transition as well as to do what they feared. Hubby and I have been having a heart to heart on this and I am not in the business of games! At this time we are removing ourselves from the adoption of "I". Apparently she really wants to keep her, she just doesn't want to adopt her. "

So I received an urgent conference call this AM with the placing Agency and the Case Manager and they called BS to the email she sent see previous post for details. They both said they knew what she was doing and didn't believe it, the "nightmare" insinuations over a few short visits was a pretty huge redflag that she was being less than truthful, or at the very least attributing all of the issues going on in her life, like pain and a new school, to our visits to prove her point that she should have her until January. No matter how long we do visits it will still be an adjustment for her because cognitively she is not going to be able to understand what is happening to her on this scale. Trust me she had no idea we were "new parents" coming to take her away either. Yes I am sure she is going to have adjustment issues, and this will not be a walk in the park or anything, but I also have confidence that she can and will bond to us and that given time she will KNOW we are her forever family. During the visit she didn't mention that "I" cuddled to me and smiled and laughed and when I went to set her down she cried, so I picked her back up and she smiled and laughed and cuddled again. This is not the response of a child who is in jeopardy of not bonding to us... right? (This was not in her wheelchair, it was after that when we were leaving)

The Placing Agency made a strong argument that from the time they sat down and read our homestudy, to the meeting we had with them, they knew we were the perfect family for "I" and would NOT let us go because of this. They expected it, glad to know they were willing to move on it and not take the FMs word as gold. They said they knew she was just trying to make it so she could keep her, yet not have to adopt her, and yes there is a money issue involved. Once the adoption is final the subsidy goes down over 1700 a month, it's a big deal. Since their goal is permanency for her and absolutely should be, they knew that if we fell through so would her chances at being placed in a forever family in the future.

I want to give her the benefit of the doubt that this is strictly for "I" best interests, but over and over she mentioned she would have adopted her but...long list of things you should say, with slips of things you probably shouldn't.

My thoughts are so scattered throughout this post sorry if it seems all over the place and choppy. I am in shock I guess. I honestly never thought they would move this quickly, especially after the meeting we had where they seemed to support her transition plan. I can't even put into words how crazy this all seems. Overwhelming!

Wow there will be 5 kids here! The girls won't be transitioned home until the 15th or so of October, if they judge signs off on it, she may not. Plus of course we have our exchange student, who btw just got a written list of rules left in his room. Apparently without a daily reminder he just can't remember them. His room is nasty! Which is NOT allowed! Bio, foster, adopted, or exchange- I put a lot of money and time into making nice rooms for everyone, I expect them to be treated with respect and cared for!