On the cusp

The oldest has been on the cusp of a total breakdown since she woke up this AM. I can see her episodes of disassociation happening more frequently, she has hit,pushed, bit and tried to drown her little sister today. She has expressed normal wishes and feelings that most older kids have who do not want to share with their little sisters, but her shifts are bothersome because she has some cognitive and safety issues that trigger behaviors that are a tad scary at times.

She has once again been assigned a Behavior Coach, of course I haven't heard how that actually will affect anything. I just know that quiet days at home without constant activities and planning and scheduling leave her too much time to plot on her own and if she doesn't get her way... well it's pretty much everyone else's fault and we are no fun.

Today I just have not been feeling well. I puke everything I eat, which has made me lose 11 pounds since they have come, which hey I am not exactly complaining about- but damn I miss food... anyway, I wanted today to be a quieter day so I allowed them to play tea party and Princess, including getting dressed up into their Sunday best. I put on a Sunday school CD for them to relax to and swam with them for two hours. They enjoyed Marco Polo. Meals were prepared according to our schedule (8am breakfast, 10am snack, 12pm lunch, 3pm snack, 5pm dinner, 7 pm snack, 8pm bedtime)and I even let them build a tent in the playroom outta blankets and put Nick on TV for them. I am sooo tired and there are only so many things I can do during the day on 2 hours of sleep.

They have greatly improved overall in their behaviors. Driving is wayyy less stressful, meal times are pleasant, and bed time is getting better. Heck even calling swim time over is getting a little easier.

Once we have money again I hope to be able to take them a few places during the week to break up the day time boredom but like I said... it's hard when you are just so tired.

I am also glad to say that they may have started to overcome their need to eat everything in site. Today were 3 normal meals and not even requests for seconds. Now that they know the timing of the meals, maybe this has helped? Because I am providing the same things I did previously.

Frenchtoast sticks with organic yogurt

Oreo birthday cake flavor and gogurt

peanutbutter and agave syrup sandwich for big and middle, 1/2 a bologna sandwich for little, potato chips, potato salad, bread & butter pickles.

spaghetti with meatballs and cooked carrots.