Vision impairment

This weekend we were exposed to the reality of Mr DS biological cousins that have the same syndrome as we do. Both boys are cognitively impaired significantly and blind. They are in their 30's so treatments and things were different back then. But it was interesting to get a glimps into what he could be like in the future. However, he has some additional challenges too, bhaving been drug and alcohol exposed he has some other aspects of his condition to deal with in development related to that too. The good news is that two of the boys, the ones I met this time, both can walk and talk. I have so much hope for him for his future.


Speaking of vision impairment.... Mr C is blind but in denial about it. He sees light, shape, and sort of clear really really close.... It's comical sometimes they way he gets around, he just walks quickly to where he wants to go just assuming he's right about his path. Many days this method brings about the " bull in the china shop" side of him, other days... He's right on the money.

Another Letter in the Alphabet

Hubby is on the way to pick up an AA 6 month old little girl. Her name is S. When Miss C came to our house over Thanksgiving... I commented that she was the wrong color. I know it's bad, but I've always wanted an AA little girl, since things fell through with Miss I, well... anyway... someone was listening I guess.

No idea about anything regarding her case plan at this time. So stay tuned.

What's happening?

D's birthmom is back and has requested visits,she's also void of memory of the last 9 months. So needless to say this court hearing in January could be interesting. Otherwise he is healing very well from his surgery and sitting up more and more. He's also cut his first top tooth and has rejected the pacifier completely now. I don't think I am ready for that yet, he still needs it!

Emily is having her first arm repair surgery tomorrow. Her night nurse has given notice, so a new person to train :-( We liked her the most, bust her schedule just didn't fit with ours. Emily is testing the limits of my patience. She is the most defiant child I have ever met! To say that she makes it hard to bond with... well it's still a struggle. I hate to admit it, but there is no mother daughter bond there. These things take time I guess, but it was not this hard with Miss I, for me it happened right away with her. Maybe it is just the timing of it all. Emily did come during the loss of two little girls for me.

Mr C is still here and can we just say that we dodged a bullet with his adoption. Hubby and him... well let's just say they butt heads so much that we have come to the conclusion that hubby is not cut out for parenting teens. Yes we have parented teens before, but apparently he didn't like it...lol Hey you live and you learn and you find your strengths and go from there.

C's adoption worker has asked us to consider a 9 year old little boy. So we shall see where that goes.

Crazy Days

D had his surgery and has been all kinds of crazy. He just doesn't sleep anymore at night, I am not a fan of this and he is super cranky. But who can blame him I mean palate surgery is no joke aaaaaannnndddd he has finally cut a third tooth. Good news is that the corneal specialist says that his cornea is cleared even more since the last time he was seen and they know he has more vision than they first thought. Means we get to hold off a bit longer on the transplant if he even needs one at all in the future.

We turned down a placement because it was weird in that CPS was not involved and it was just someone wanting us to take care of their kid for them because they can't... meaning parents are very involved and child is here long term.... he is 15 so yeah... not our thing. Speaking of teenagers Mr C is here and well, he's here. He's a pretty big source of loud but its entertaining most days so it keeps it interesting.

Emily is Emily :-) Not much has changed yet in her world, but we are working towards some exciting things.

Journey out today

With three kiddos. Oh I know there are so many of you who do it with many more. We need a double stroller for sure. Emily smiled the whole time. Mr C was very good, gotta love bribery. D was cranky, but in his defense he was tired and is still only three days post op after all.

What we learned is that this batch of three is portable and we are not locked in the house like we were with N.

December is a Crazy Busy month for us

Mr D had cleft palate surgery. There are a million and one appointments going on between now and the end of the month. Mr C and Emily both have upcoming surgeries this month as well, both are supposed to be only day surgery though.

I am starting a new job and have no idea how many days I have on the schedule right now either.

Oh yeah and it's the Holidays too

Goodbye Miss C

Today CPS called and just like that little one is ordered home with Grandma. Honestly, well Thank God! I was just not ready for another crying baby with everything going on this month with Emily having surgery and D having his cleft surgery this week too.

Happy Thanksgiving

It's totally like having twins... the doctor said that Miss C is 6 months of age in her development, given her age of 16 months, and even with her adjusted age of 13 months, well not being able to sit up, is a big deal we've push for a Developmental Pediatrician evaluation and a referral for Early Intervention. Apparently we are the first to ask for it, which technically doesn't surprise me, considering. Mr D is also at a 6 months development stage and remains consistently 4 months behind his chronological age of 10 months... he is liking the sitting up now and its weird that he is ahead of her since he's such baby still.

Miss C

Came today. Not related to Mr. C. 16 months old. At this time we do not know how long she will stay since apparently she kind came without the agency knowledge, which is not good. I had given them all the information and the worker stated she was going to call them and set everything up. Of course when she called back and said everything was all set, I assumed she has contacted them... after she dropped her off that was another thing, but she's here so it is what it is at this point. So we shall see.


Miss C

Mr. C

What can I say.. he came in like a hurricane for sure. He is a handful... his OCD is a little hard to deal with, course I had to laugh when Emily actually yelled at him! She has a trach, isn't really that vocal usually, but when he stepped in her way and touched her DVD player she'd had it... she actually said, " AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MAMAMAMAMAMA...." which was probably more like "Mine get out." But the amazing part is that she yelled!

Anyway, he'll start school next week. He's loud, cute, hug, loves to eat, loves to sing, loves the baby, and well Autistic at it's best. The dogs are NOT fans!

3-6 months the CPS workers say.

Like a Circle... or a Triangle at least

I'm not sure when exactly, I've blogged about it before, but a lot of months ago we had the opportunity to be considered for adoption of a guy named C. Well we had to forgo that opportunity at that time. The other day a vendor call went out for need of placement for him again. Poor kid has been moved place to place to place. Well we are getting him tomorrow as a foster placement afterall. We are not at this time adopting him, as he has an out of state adoption in process.... he was featured on Adopt us Kids actually and Wed#nesdays Child. He could be with us 3-6 months depending on how long his ICPC takes.



**found the post and linked it incase you are curious**

Adoption Day

Where there is a need.... we may follow

Contemplating changing our licensing to address the foster care issue here in Az, as the need for placements of the "typical" kind is huge. We have some decisions to make with regards to how we move forward, but at this time even this new agency isn't really working out well.

Our support coordinator is leaving, we don't have direct deposit, they don't do adoptions, they don't do CPS immediate placements... etc etc etc. It's quiet in the world of CDH and they have even stopped licensing at this agency.

What to do? I think I shall give another agency a call and see what they say. They have a new East Valley location and are always sending me emails. Even our CPS workers are wishing we took typical kids.

We have to see how it will go with Mr. D because our license may effect him and he is the priority at this time over anything since Miss E's adoption will be final in 3 days.

But it's another new step, another new direction we would go in.We shall see when the fates lead us.

Court update

TPR for D did not happen today dispite the parents not showing up because the AG didn't file the proper paperwork on time. So continued until January 13th. SMH

Waiting for the call again

So now we are officially on the open beds list and waiting for another placement. It seems weird that there are all of these stories about no home placements and kids sleeping in case manager's offices or needing to be put in group homes, but placement calls don't happen. In a little over a week we will not only have 1 open bed but 2, because Miss E turns from foster child to adopted child and does not count on our license anymore.

Sometimes I wonder why or if I want to continue with the foster thing, but I know in my heart its the right path for us... and I've met some amazing kids along the way.

TPR

As in there is a Termination of Parental Rights Hearing in less than a week for D. I'm so trying hard not to get my hopes up. It's tough either way.

It was a very Happy Halloween for all...

N went home.

E was discharged from the hospital and is doing very well.

D and I flew out to Boston and had a very nice visit with my sister and her family and he even got to see hubby's side too.


Let's continue this happy trend for a while. TPR hearing for D is on the 13th and adoption date for E is on the 18th. We are officially open for another placement or two this next month.

Court for N tomorrow

The family is petitioning for immediate transfer of child to home country. I'm of course mixed over this. Because no I don't think she will thrive there at all, but on the other hand, well I'm pretty much done with it.

What else can we possibly do to prevent the leaks and finger painting that we haven't already been doing? Yuck, just yuck.

Miss E got the fever....

And what appeared to be a seizure top it off too. But after a day in the ER, some IV antibiotics and some really good nursing care, she seems to have finally broken her temp for now.

In other news

We found out some things about D that were odd. Like his name isn't his name on the birth certificate. We also learned that there is a severance hearing on November 14th.

I don't want to get my hopes up too high, because it doesn't mean that much unless his parents don't actually show up. But I get excited for him and his future getting closer to getting secured.

Like de ja vu

L will not be coming. Two years of saying no we won't adopt, state finds adoptive home and....
I feel like I've written this before.
Oh because I have! At least it was not a drawn out process like it was with "I" last year.


So after three months D's biomom has popped back into the world of... Giving a shit. She's decided to call cps and find out what her plan is so she can start working it. Nice for her.

Urgh! I hate people today!

updates

D is too fat!



But he's progressing so much!


E is as sassy as always.




N is still here. Her parents are a crazy freaking nut jobs. And we can't post pics of her because she's straight foster,

L is 3 years old little boy that we met today. He's the sweetest handful. He will be an at risk adoption placement and should be here next month. He has a trachm gtube and a syndrome called Prader-Willi more info to come as we find out more.

November 18th is the Date

We received notice this week that our adoption date for Miss E is on November 18th! Exciting. Hubby was in tears.




We also received a phone call that very same day from a CPS worker that we worked with on a case last year. She was looking for a placement for a little boy and when she went through the available vendors with CDH she saw our name on it and she said she got so excited she called me right away. So even though we don't officially have space yet, we are in fact going to meet a 2 1/2 year old little boy on the 20th and see if it's a match or not. So possibly we could add "L" to our brood of letters by the end of the year? We shall see I guess.

Brrrrr

When you have a cold and the infant has a cold, I don't know what's worse!! This sucks...poor baby.

Reaching out to the parents...

I have no point to prove. I don't have to offer. There isn't an order by the court or an agreement in place. But I have tried to maintain open communication with E's birth mother. I let her text me whenever, even if her text messages need decoding. I send her pictures and even invite her to outings.

I do this because I want her to maintain a place in E's life. So this weekend I offered for her to meet us at the halfway point of our house and hers. I hope she manages to make it, as there isn't much time in the year left before I won't be able to take her out there.

With hopes...

Talked to CPS today, she has a meeting with BioMom for D next week. She thinks she may be willing to relinquish. I really hope so! Adoptions worker for E said that she'd get the case if that were to happen. There is a waiting period for appeal, but she said the adoption would go much quicker if she did relinquish.


Maybe this will get to be his room permanently?

**Note:This room isn't photographed in it's complete stage, because his name is on the wall and we've added a few things too :-) **

Mr. D

Is growing with leaps and bounds,small ones, but everyday he does something different. He has two teeth now. He can entertain himself for longer periods of time. He can drink from a regular bottle (which he only like water in), he eats solid foods twice a day, he's had one eye surgery, he is easy to make smile and laugh now, he HATES tummy time, he discovered his hands and appears to be left handed, he learned how to bounce his bouncy seat all by himself, he is delayed surely, but he's still progressing, and he hasn't had a visit with his biomom in nearing two months now.

I continue to text her and send her updates and pictures. We even invited her here so that she could visit him, but she declined. Her excuse is she's having a hard time. I get it because I knew she wasn't going to be able to parent him when we were first placed with him.

D doesn't seem to notice that Mom is gone, because he has this one and he sure does notice when I'm not around. He's bonded. We are bonded. I hope to be able to adopt him, he deserves it.

A break

N has been in school all week. Hubby has had a break and been able to do his favorite past time of hunting this week. He hasn't gotten anything, but hey at least he's out of the house and it's helped a tad with his mood.


We are still going back and forth of having a nanny and not having one. There are still times where the overlap of appointments cause some issues, but I just can't wrap my head or wallet around the need for someone on a full-time basis right now. It's hard to find a "sitter" who can actually meet the needs of the kids though either, if only they had nursing, we've have amazing luck with nurses!

Oh btw and when you lie about the small things in your interview, or over estimate your talents, I will notice, then I will actually start to doubt everything else.

Or am I just impossible to please?

Signed Sealed Delivered

Got the adoption packet from the lawyer. Need to get the notary stamp and send it back and we get to petition for a hearing date for the adoption.

Updates

The new CPS for N is actually pretty great so far. She is more inline with the other two we have so that is good. The father is still a big f'ing tool and really the ONLY reason at this point that we would like for N to be moved. We've settled and it's been easier getting her needs met. Our licensing agency emailed me the other day and said, "Do you want to keep N in your home until her aunt is ready or do you want to keep her permanently in your home?" I know she KNOWS we would NEVER keep her with her father the way he is. So I told her we would keep her as they work through whatever her case plan is and if they want to move her to the aunt when she is ready that is fine with me, but I don't think she should just be moved and moved and moved. Since she FINALLY starts school on Tuesday there is a bit of a break there! Woot! However, she has back slid a bit in her stomach issues and her behavior. I think maybe the Valproic Acid for her seizures may be the problem. She was off of it for two weeks and at that time she was a totally different and much better kid, now back on them... well sleepless nights, less smiles and more stomach issues.

Mr. D cut his first tooth yesterday! In 10 days he'll be 8 months old, but the little pooper grabbed my finger last night during his bath and OUCH! It was exciting for us all, it's just the tiniest part of the tooth sticking out at this point but it was sharp. His eye is healing and it's weird for me to see him with what appears to be a natural orb under his lid while closed. I am so used to it the other way after the past 5 months.

Miss E is still cruising through to Adoption, looks like it'll be in November and perhaps on National Adoption Day, our lawyer is the chair of the events here, but we are still trying to get a date sooner rather than later. Next week we have an appointment to see about hand surgery for her. She also started shaking her head no, I said no and she started shaking her head. It was cute, but since she already does the opposite of what you want her to do, because she thinks it's funny, well it's a double edged sword I guess. We also found out that the Nurse that we were trying to poach well E doesn't like her at all...she cries a lot and then she gives me the cold shoulder, I think it's because she actually talks to me a lot, whereas the other nurses are her slaves and spend every minute catering to her and I stole her friend. She holds a grudge.

Surgeries...

Little guy has surgery on Monday. It was our first together. I think we held up well. This is tough.

D#ggar Vent

Let me just preface this and say that I am a fan of the show and watch frequently and follow the goings on of the family. I am not going to comment on the recent, "issues" that are in the media, as in biblical followers have strong beliefs and they are welcome to their own thoughts. Yet I digress... it's a fertility thing...or lack there of that gets me.

The family practice of the Senior Mr and Mrs is to faithfully have as many children as God sees fit to give them. I get it. It's a good practice if you can live it and they could. BUT... then there was the preemie, then the stillborn, then the results that natural methods would probably not be effective any more for conception. OK so God has spoken then right?

Now I am hearing fertility treatments? There comes a time when Grandma needs to stop having babies! Let's rejoice in the new season of life that grandchildren are bringing into your family! Grandbabies need special attention too!

Course that is just my two cents and they don't matter, but if you tell the world that you live a philosophy and then don't actually live it, then well maybe I shouldn't really care what you think about Transgender people using the bathroom that they feel more comfortable in!

Workers

N is on her 3rd CPS Worker. Here's hoping this one gets something accomplished in a positive role. She should start school this week. Finally we have managed to chase down just enough information that she can start to attend and be evaluated for her IEP services.

Thanksgiving in August

Waiting for my mom to bring the turkey, but yes we are in fact having a mini turkey day today!

Milestones

When the 7 month old baby finally laughs out loud for real! When the 4 year old's trach is capped all day! When the baby reaches for toys that he's never played with before and "should be" out of sight! When the 4 year old says ,"Mamama" for the first time!

Priceless moments... that make all of the other stuff worth it!

Parental Issues

N's family is probably the worst possible family we could have gotten at this point. Seriously though, her CPS worker is the worst possible CPS worker we could have gotten with her too. A family that complains about everything and makes shit up when they can't think of anything else to complain about, coupled with a lazy CPS worker who doesn't want to supervise her own damn case.

What it equals is an investigation into us, for cat hair- seriously I kid you not. Plus her father pretty much just states that she is getting substandard care at our home, because we do not speak Spanish.

Well we bring her to doctors appointments- they did not. We follow doctor orders- they do not. We enrolled her into school- they did not. We help her gain weight - they did not. We brought her to the dentist- they did not ( she is going to loose ALL of her teeth!)

We have documented visits both announced and unannounced that show that she is taken care of, is "happy", she has her moments, she is actually even starting to interact with everyone here, and yesterday she even did a craft project with help. She had potential that they WASTED.

When hubby informed dad that she was going to school next week, his story from "the school wouldn't transport her, and the school kicked her out for sticking her fingers in her mouth" Turned into, she cries on the bus and cries all day in school.

Yes I can see that she would do that. She does not adapt well to change. She needs time to adjust, she needs consistency. Yes she freaks out daily about something, but she still should do it. Over time she will stop crying and start interacting with her surroundings.

We've seen it with us and now after 90 days here, she's changed so much from the first weeks she was here.

But alas she is a typical Rhett's girl and all the joys that come with that along with being misdiagnosed and neglected medically = N

Parenting a Special Needs Child Part two

Miss E as she is referred to in the social media world is our 4 year old. Her adoption is sooo close now. She has many many issues that with every doctors appointment we find out is more and more, yet daily she progresses and meets strides we never knew she could. She has many congenital birth defects. She has a tracheostomy which requires frequent suctioning... mostly because she produces so much spit. She puts everything in her mouth and is exploring so much now through oral exploration. Most kids who have never eaten usually have a severe oral aversion, she can't figure out how to swallow most days, but she sure likes to taste things. We are hoping with some feeding therapy that she may eventually learn to use her tongue and swallowing muscles to actually eat. The ENT thinks that she may even end up decannulated, trach out and close the stoma, when she is older. She was on a vent when she first came, now we can cap the trach and she tries to make sounds and can hold her o2 saturation up in the high 90's to the 100% range. She can't walk or sit on her own, but she stood the other day while I was taking her out of the feeding chair, the fact that she can use force to stand with support is amazing considering she has severe brain damage to her cerebellum.

However, she is a spunky, opinionated little girl who is not afraid to make her needs known. What once was an all Mickey Mouse Club watching marathon has been replaced with Max and Ruby, and she'll sign more and say what sounds like Mama, when she sees Max on screen. She seeks out new toys to play with and loves to "play" with other children, she to the gravitates older ones though. She is a fashionista little diva thanks to her Daddy.

Most of all she is loved and despite the 4 year old temper tantrums, she is so easy to care for. If it weren't for the frequent suctioning requirements you'd think she was a typical kid.

Parenting Special Needs Children Part one...

I feel like I never mention that our children are special needs kids. I guess it doesn't really matter to me, doesn't make things much different, except that they have a ton more doctors appointments on a regular basis. After parenting two typical and even advanced children, this is a whole new experience to me, but I love it.

But there are differences....D is almost 7 months old and is actively three months behind in development. If you took a 3-4 month old and put them together his chunky butt would be bigger, but they'd be closer in development than he'd be to a nearly 7 month old. He's blind of course so he doesn't have the curiosity factor to encourage normal locomotion. He only moves around now during a temper tantrum, and boy can he get around fast in his reverse combat crawl! He also spent the first three months of his life in leg casts and his GI issues made for a very cranky three months. Things like his eye fell out again, or can you put his eye back in, are routine sayings around our house. We've had to adapt to a "different" feeding style as he not only has a g-tube for his formula, but he has a cleft pallet. He will only take rice cereal with apples and bananas in it, WTG D! However, sometimes when he is too excited or during a very strong temper tantrum it comes out his nose. Beware if you are in his path as hubby found out, cuz he can shoot it pretty far.

Despite those things, we are constantly thinking up ways to encourage him to reach, grab, roll, stand, and sit... it's hard work. harder than I remember it of course. He may be developmentally delayed, we don't know yet, be may get a corneal transplant and see one day, we don't know yet. We do know that he is having pallet surgery and orbit expander surgeries in the near future.

We push harder for him to reach for his milestone, but mostly we just love him, cuddle him, and spoil him.

The Trouble with Help is...

I'm not asking for Mary Freaking Poppins.... but I am asking you to do the job in the description signed, agree upon, and paid for! I blame hubby for not properly training her, because now I have to be the bad guy. Because I have some HIGH expectations...duh.

Yes when I said you had to take care of two children all day, yeah, I really did mean both of them. Not picking one and checking in on the other to see if hubby needs to do something with her instead of doing whatever it is he is doing.

Nanny = much needed down time for him, someone to be there when he's off and running from appointment to appointment, someone to tend to, feed, wash, play with and be there for the two while hubby is doing one of the million and one projects that he also has to do. Yes I understand we are in the house and it's easy to want our help or have one of us jump in and just do what needs to be done, but I have school work to do on my days off, and sometimes yeah he wants to just play a video game. But that's why we hired someone to work even though we are home. So since we PAY a decent wage for not a very hard job, I'd just appreciate it if it was done.

I just don't get the disconnect from the interview to the actual job position. I think hubby is the common denominator and the reason for the confusion. So we had a talk, I clarified my expectations with him, showed him the job description and want him to be clear with the Nanny that I expect her to do the job we agreed upon. Most importantly I probably made it clear that, we are not friends, you are not family,(even though you remind me of my MIL), and the children are your PRIORITY. and that

Additionally, NO it is not ok that just because Hubby said he can't do anything with her hair, that YOU leave her looking like Medusa. WHERE ON EARTH IS THAT ACCEPTABLE?

PS I think that once school starts... hubby may need to do without the Nanny... he can surely take care of one child on his own all day.

Happenings

Court for N is continued till October, so no return home or alternate placement just yet. Which means we need to get her somehow enrolled into school, without a current IEP, birth certificate, proof of immunizations, etc.

D's Mom has made 3 visits, outside of doctors appointments, that she begged for in court, over the past 4 months. *** Today was a visit day... lets just say that number did not increase at all***

Just waiting on an adoption court date for E now!

Placement Hearing for one missed visits for the other.

Turns out N has a placement hearing on Monday to determine if she can go home. :-)

D's Mom did not call to cancel or show up to his visit today. I was going to give her props for making two in a row finally, but guess not, course she was over an hour late to her two hour visit last week, but oh well it is the nature of the beast.

I feel like...

I should have so much more to write. But alas I must have writers block or something. Things are happening here. Exciting things. But just not things that spark..."oh I should write that" Seriously no one really cares but me anyway.

We are getting closer to Miss E being officially adopted. We found a new Nanny who totally reminds me of my mother in law. Miss N's father is causing shit again,this time CPS HAD done their job and was able to back us on it. He is such a f'ing tool. But no such luck that she'd be placed somewhere else, she's still here.

Mr. D is getting a new nursery and yeah we are painting in his room and putting up a chair rail. His new crib set came this week, I have a few more things on order,but it's also neutral enough to just be a boy room,of course my hope is that it remains his room. With that said he's actually still in my room, but if I can get another monitor and video set, I may, might, maybe, let him sleep in there. Pictures to come once completed.

Also with D is that we are going to facilitate a visit with his parents at our home. CPS is hoping that once they get an idea of where he is, it'll be easier for them to agree that, since they state that they can't take care of him, that we'd be the next best option.

Iproducts suck...

And make it hard to blog, but hubby got me a new laptop and now I shall be able to blog more.

Today is a big day and I will find out more information but as of now there isn't much new. They had court for D yesterday, today his CPS worker comes and there is a CFT for him as well. The biomom called hubby yesterday and said she was told she could come and visit the baby whenever she wanted...I was like ummm... NO! So we shall see what CPS actually said, because biggest thing, we do NOT allow family visits in our home unless the child is already severed and adoptable PERIOD. I'm curious as to what the case plan is at this point to. It was adoption by family member but no one has heard from the family member, and the Pediatrician is still saying he will try and block a reunification with the baby and any member of the family, I'm not sure he really has much "say" but it's still a nice gesture. *** update - court went and no changes. CPS came and stated that what she meant was, " If we adopt him then the adoption can be open, and if you ask I am sure they will let you come and visit anytime."***

N is still here, court for her is the 23rd, at which time I hope to hear that both aunt and dad have been trained and she will be ordered home. I won't hold my breath, but I can sure hope. Sometimes there are just situations that you just need to run their courses faster than others.


I may have come to the conclusion that foster care may not be for me... or at the very least not without a fulltime Nanny or a part-time job.

Adoption track

We are in our six months now, the lawyer has started the paperwork and I'm almost done with the subsidy packet. The lawyer said the court date should be within three months and Miss E will be forever named...

Nanny... Fail

We hired a nanny who met some pretty strict guidelines. She went from coming a few hours a day to being a live in. When we hired her we knew she had a vacation planned. 10 days is a pretty long time when you hired someone to do a job that really isn't too flexible some days.

There were some red flags that have come up during the past few weeks... mostly they related to the need more Nannying less Familying... sometimes we allow people to get too comfortable and "laziness" comes out.... case in point the exchange student. Course that doesn't mean that we don't have high expectation for people that we employ to take care of our children... we do and I am pretty strict where that comes from.

Needless to say... the 10 days has been extended, yes circumstances arose that you'd feel obligated to assisit with... however, if you are only here two months.... and even worse make me scramble to find alternate care for our planned getaway because you are extending even longer... can you say gone a MONTH? Well... we WILL be seeking alternate childcare.

I have learned one thing though... I just can't do a live in... I need shift workers, back-up, and a clear cut contract with job description.


C'est la vie

Sick baby... and updates

I do not like this part. D has a major cold and the biggest thing with him because of the cleft pallet is that post nasal drip/runny stuffy nose goes right down his throat and he coughs alot. I have so much fear of him aspirating and getting pneumonia. :-( Right now he is already on an antibiotic because they see fluid in his ears, so at least we have that, but there isn't much more than you can do for a 5 month old baby. He's napping right now and we have him on Miss E's pulse ox and he's actually not desating when he is coughing so at least there is that. Poor baby.

I talked to his mother and she said the nephew that was thinking of coming here and adopting him is not answering her phone calls or the calls from CPS at this moment, at least that's what she says, I'll check with CPS and see what they say when she comes next week. I mean the Aunt keeps saying that he is just like her youngest son, so it'd be enough to scare off a couple who literally have no idea what they'd be getting into, and whom don't currently have a bond to and he is not bonded to them.... I am against this if you haven't gotten the idea yet. Of course I want to keep him. I love the little guy, and if he doesn't go back to his parents, (which I'd be better with), then he should stay here.

It'll be 6 months next month that we'll have had Miss E and we can move forward with her adoption petition. I have a ton of paperwork to complete still on that one.

In N's case they apparently weren't all to considered with how much we neglect her, because she is still here, despite us actually asking that she be moved. She's also gained nearly 10 pounds, except that yesterday hubby spent the whole day with her and crazy family members at the ER because she had some issues with one of her chronic conditions and the PCP office that they insist we take her to, has NO CLUE how to take care of special needs kids. Thus the reason she is in Foster Care in the first place. Honestly she actually belongs with her father and family and they just need some services and education.


we did receive a call again asking if we were open because they want to place a 7 year old girl with us. I told them if they weren't actively looking then in a few weeks we should have an opening as we keep calling to have her moved, then we would. This little girl is available for adoption, was supposed to be adopted by the family, but they are having a baby or something and don't want to adopt.... I have no idea if anything will come of it, but it's an option. I did not however agree to adopt either.

Invaded and Interrogated

As in we have been invaded daily now by government agencies asking a million and one questions and thus we have to defend ourselves over this stupid assholes bogus shit. Of course I expected him to be a douche which is why I didn't want any home visits in the first place, but yeah the shit he said is not only trivial, but the agencies should have seen through it. After all there are people in and out of here daily who they could have asked, but no the case worker who yet again didn't want to do HER job launches an investigation based on what a disgruntled parent who has been stalking everyone since she was put into care says.

Urgh I am just so frustrated, but of course foster parents are horrible people... I mean sheesh taking on the care and a zillion and one doctors appointments and running around like crazy, being up at all hours of the night, yeah...monsters I tell you!

Neglect Investigation...

As in we are the subject of... a report was called in stating a bunch of shit... related to.... Miss N

1.) She is skinny... it's our fault. We are starving her because we put milk through her g-tube and didn't let her eat solid foods during the two weeks that she was still vomiting blood- she gained 3 pounds since she'd been with us. She Gained 3 pounds the month that she was in the hospital, we are following the hospital discharge instructions, humm... I see a pattern.

2.)We are not wearing gloves to hook up her g-tube and they didn't see us wash our hands, First you don't have to wear gloves in a home setting. 1 gloves are not supplied, and 2 you only have to wash your hands, which we do outside of her room, cuz that is where we keep the meds. Plus they did not see the sanitizer in the room next to the gloves and the wipes?

3.)The cat is sleeping in the bed with her, um no he isn't, until a week ago he slept in Jae our Foreign exchange students room and now he is back to the laundry room at night, and no the cat does not like her so he doesn't go in there unless people he wants to see are in there, he's kinda nosey that way.

4.)Our house is filthy- hum well it's lived in, it's not spotless, and yeah there tends to be dog hair on like everything, and we need to dust more often, but the kids rooms ARE actually spotless, and the animals are not allowed there. And over all the house is "company cleaned" especially the entry way... which is as far as that person had actually stepped foot.

5.) Her tube clogged so we must be giving her spoiled milk- actually it's thick and nasty milk that when you prime the tube it sticks to the side, and well it makes flushing hard. Yup the milk stinks, but it's fresh.

6.) She needs a higher level of care than we are capable of providing because she does not have a nurse all night. Hummm... actually yes she does, it's me.

7.) She may aspirate her milk at night, she needs a nurse. - Well they did not learn those words from anyone but me- which is why she has a hospital bed at 45 degree because she is an aspiration risk, because I think it, brought it up and requested a speech evaluation.

8.) She MUST be allergic to the animals because she has a cough and a runny nose. Well she's had the cough since the hospital- see #7... she has the runny nose because she actually had a cold for the past two weeks, which is gone. No allergy symptoms are present, no sneezing even. Which is not to say she could not have an allergy to animals, just that they are not around her to it even to be an issue.

9.) They just don't like the fact that we are WHITE plain and simple and do not speak spanish and do not let them come here... ie- this is EXACTLY why we don't let them come- cuz they straight out lie, and twist and turn things around.


Lesson learned... we have actually requested that she leave, previous to this anyway, but CPS was here today and said,
" Well from what I see, these allegations are unfounded. Keep up the good work."

Mommy rescue

My first call to pick a sick kid up from school on a while. Good thing I had the ability to go and get her, better that her school is really close to my work, although it's still 30 minutes from our house. Let's just say the stomach flu of the number two kind has hit.... Do sorry to those poor people stuck on the bus during that explosion.

Where on earth have I been?

Busy and working. I work at a doctor's office type of place and I have been spending pretty much every day off running from appointment to appointment... such is the life of a CDH provider.

E is getting closer to adoption. We have her packet and have started the final paperwork and are getting the adoption attorney in place. She's been slowly getting all of her equipment needs and were are getting closer to getting her a proper diagnosis. Lots of tests in her future.

D has been growing, Mom has been showing up to appointments, the maternal aunt is a good resource for her and seriously being considered at this time as a placement for him, but she's got her hands full, but since what he has is VERY rare and pretty much their family, the goal is ultimately family placement only. But we are enjoying him while we have him, of course having a 3 month old is a tad too much for hubby... he says NO MORE BABIES.

N is a call we just got and will probably get either tomorrow or Saturday. 13 year old girl with high medical needs, but not a really medically intensive case... if that makes any sense to you... makes more sense to a Nurse ;-)

Finally we'll be full and too busy for anything, I really hope I can get some nursing respite for this one... 10 hours a week is better than nothing.

Foster Mama Drama

Why is it that we always get the foster mother from hell kids? Right now our newest placements former foster mother has been blowing up the lines of every agency she can think of to get D placed back in their home. Why? Because they made a hasty decision and regret that they demanded he be removed at once. They had a few days to go out of town and relax and realized that they missed him is my guess.

The problem is that they made a huge deal about needing him gone emergently, which caused a major panic and mad dash to get him placed, ultimately with us. Which of course ruffled some feathers at the Agency. CPS has questioned why he can't go back on one hand, and on the other, wants him to stay with us because of the permanency goals. If by chance Mom can't work her plan, then us being willing to adopt,over them being not able to adopt,ultimately puts us as a better choice of current placement to avoid disrupting him too much or again. He's been with us for two weeks now and he's starting to settle in and play and coo, and not just scream his head off.

I hope it comes down to CPS sticking with the recommendations of the Agency that he stay put. Of course Mom has been calling the old foster mother ALOT, but I think it's just because she doesn't know us yet and is used to her, although the old foster father stated that we should stay as far away from the parents as possible, NOT that I want her to call us ALOT, but the point is, she needs to just move forward and just work her plan to get her baby back. This little guy has a ton of stuff going on, a ton of appointments and will be a busy busy guy and needs everyone to focus on his needs... PERIOD.

Actual visits start this week. Besides doctors appointments they will be getting twice a week visits for 4 hours. We do not have to stay at those, it'll be interesting how they can manage all of it, but honestly I would hope that they can, and can take care of him. I of course would keep him, and am totally in love with the little guy, but I know he's a foster placement at the same time.

This baby fostering is TOUGH!

Two by two

Two diaper bags, two strollers, two car seats, and two feeding pumps... an outing to my mothers house for dinner... This used to be a lot easier.

Things are surely changed in our lives. No longer can we just "go" somewhere when we want. We need sitters. I may have to rethink this ;-)

I have no idea

How there are some people that just take infants. This is hard work. Perhaps if I were the stay at home parent, but as the working parent it's pretty rough. You know how us moms just don't think the dads can do it as good as we can or how we can. With D Baby it's pretty hard because he also has a ton of medical issues, but more importantly he is a crier.

Yesterday CPS came and said that this could be a long term placement to about a year or so. So we shall see I guess

D Baby

Is the cutest little guy. It's crazy sad to think of him going home or even to another adoptive placement. Of course I have ZERO background information on this case yet. Except to say that he has been dealt quite the hand genetically.

He has quite the ordeal to overcome, right now we are just working on holding down his feeds, controlling acid production, and setting the rate for which his feeding should actually run. With him its been a fine line of not to over fill him and cause him to spit up, and to not under fill him so that he's screaming hungry. It's a process of hit or miss for sure.

Little Miss E is having huge issues with sharing time with her new baby brother, she does not want to hear him cry, or else she cries, and she certainly does not want Daddy or Mommy to bring him into her room.

Between the two of them hubby and I have spent quite a lot of time at doctor's appointments and it does not seem like those are going to let up anytime soon either.

#2

Who actually has one of my favorite boy names, Mr. D is **2.5** months old and well... his parents had some major issues and this little guy has some MAJOR issues! Of course we were not prepared at all for his arrival, like NOT AT ALL! Hubby is out buying the baby gear. Not sure how much he weighs, he's got some casts on his legs, but he's a tiny little fellow... hubby is gonna have FUN he's NEVER had this stage before... how many times do you think he's gonna spray him do you think it'll take until he figures out how to block? And seriously, some how there was air in the gtube and spit up out his nose happened... yeah... he's a Peds nurse's dream :-)

The good and the bad of it....

The good news is unlike our old agency we have gotten a lot of emails and two calls for placements. Bad news is we currently don't have and others except Miss E, but it's progress because the reason we don't is that I turned down three, but I have said yes to two, but we didn't get them yet.

Tough Decisions...Integrity Challenged

So old agency is causing trouble. They have "given the alert" and throwing questions as to why we are trying to adopt more than 1 child at this times. Hummm... sour grapes actually from them? But if it gets back to me they are saying anything about us, I will sue the freaking pants off of them. They have been already been making EVERYTHING difficult with the transition and blocking everything that they can try, from that Red File, to all of the updated paperwork that we just completed. Some of the paperwork I paid for, and they are with holding the originals because, they don't have to release it...blah bah blah! Whatever, I'll just go get another copy of it and screw them.

So what are the alerts? One was why were we pursuing another adoption so soon? Well because we were approached by them to consider it! I only said that I was only looking for him as a placement because he was referred to be by another foster parent who was in NO WAY looking to adopt him. She just thought he'd do well with us. I didn't know that he was adoptable and despite the vendor call they put out that that was the only route they were actively pursuing at this time.

Now his "team" is playing games, so despite their invalid concerns, and only because they are partnered with the old agency, we have removed ourselves from consideration as his forever family. Now this placement everyone was so excited about, is over, and this poor kids does not get a forever home. They kept asking if we could pay our bills without money from him, and wanted to see our financials. Well, having him and not getting a reimbursement is a moot point, because you do get one, and a subsidy too after the adoption is final. But trust me we spent and spend more money on Miss E than we have gotten for her, so yeah I can see us doing the same thing for him too. Miss E's money just helps keep the electricity on in her section of the house for things like her, vent, suction, feeding pump, etc... so yeah we need some help paying for the additional expenses associated with their care, and yes his would be the same. But the extras, like toys, dvds, clothes,things for their rooms, even supplies that are not covered by her insurance, like mouthwash, toothpaste, baby wipes, etc... well yeah we have to pay for those too. I mean come on people, having a parent available 24/7 for the expected and unexpected appointments with these kiddos is a HUGE necessity to maintain a CDH home, so yeah we do need the "extra" money to subsidize the loss of income from hubby now being a stay at home parent. So if that makes our integrity suspect, than FUCK you!


Anyway, we had to make a very tough decision regarding this, but I AM NOT, going to play stupid games with them. Our plan is to maintain an organic flow. If by chance in the future one of our placements fits perfectly into our home and we just can't see them leaving, I guess we will cross the adoption bridge again if it comes along. Until then, we are focusing on Miss and the foster process. I feel very good about this new agency... so there!

Useless meeting...

Hubby attended a meeting yesterday for prospective foster placement "B" it seems that "B"'s case is not exactly what we were lead to believe, but then again the meeting had zero information in it anyway. The only good thing that came of it was we were able to get contact information for the CPS worker so that we can get more answers to our questions. Of course, you know they always say, " They sound much worse on paper than they really are." For me, personally so far the opposite was true. Of course with my only real first hand experience so far being the three girls, well... we all know how that turned out.

Anyway, his discharge date to us is supposed to be Monday, if we move ahead.

It is what it is

There is a lot going on right now behind the scenes. There just isn't time to really blog about it because, well nothing is really "happening".

We've been getting quite a few emails for placements, which are not fits for our family right now. We are still being sought after for 1 we have already said no to, but they have asked us to attend a meeting about him tomorrow anyway. Frank is going to go, listen to what they have to say, and voice our issues. We may give it a try with this placement, but honestly, I really would like to hold out for a better fit. Autism is a hard one.

Things are the same with the MR C placement status, I'm straddling the fence on the forever part. It's just hard to commit to a child prior to them moving in and saying, " yeah this is forever my child" anyway we are just doing once a week visits right now and seeing how that goes for a few weeks as we get closer to the end of the school year.

Little Miss E is doing well. We are hoping that PT will get the activity chair paperwork completed soon as well as the gait trainer. We have a lot of up coming specialist appointments starting next week that are every week now until May. There are a lot of things moving and changing with her status, we have a lot of paperwork to look for. But ultimately things are settling in, she's a handful.

How this all works...

Bio mom was supposed to be coming today for her last weekly visit, but of course she cancelled and wanted to make it for next week, but I told her no. we cant set the precedent that her visits are at her whims.



Of course the court is the one who made the choice as her rights were taken and not signed away. So technically from now until our adoption is final there is a no contact no information except with our approval. After the adoption is final we have a verbal agreement to maintain contact.

Our verbal agreement is that I'll send texts and picture updates and she can see her twice a year at her own expense. I will not be hunting her down, reminding her, or making any transportation arrangements. Additionally those visits are 3 hours long each, are preset to occur at her birthday and Christmas and NOT randomly when she sees fit to change them. The thing is, there is no binding agreement to this, so it's all because we feel that since there was not any abuse, she should be allowed to still know her. If there comes a time when things just aren't working, we will cross that bridge when we or if we have to.

Today CPS is coming to sign off on her case and move her to the adoptions team.

Severed Parental Rights

It's official our "at risk" placement has officially become a pre-adoptive placement. Her case transfers next week to a new adoptions case manager and we then just wait for the court date this summer. Probably end of July beginning of August.

A tad confused...

I mentioned to our day nurse about a set of sisters that were in care. Next thing I know I get an email from our new agency that she got a request for a staffing for them for us? What? Then she says that she's concerned about our home stability with bringing in too many children at one time.

First, I have no idea what the hell just happened because I never called anyone and secondly, it's been almost 3 months since we got Miss E and IF we go through with Mr C, because yes of course there are issues with that. It won't be until June. Ummm... How any other places get months between each placement? Not even my friend. I'm not exactly sure what she means.


Then about 30 minutes later we get another vendor call email. First I'm pleased with the agency and their available placements. Second, I'm kinda mad at what he assumes.

Half of a day....maybe less

We have been with our new agency 1/2 of the day....and we already received a vendor call placement request. Seriously! I'm not sure I will say yes to this one, but as soon as she found out we only had one placement, not even two hours later there was an email in my inbox with a prospective placement and its not even Friday.

Does it feel like loss or rejection?

Understandably some people know mr c better than we do. They talk about how he doesn't like change. How he'll need a long transition. How he has had a lot of loss in his life, combined with a lot of rejection. So what happens when you tell him you finally find the family he wants, then he gets to visit them, then they bring him back over and over again? He said to me, " I just want to get out of here, I just want a family." Does it look like rejection to him if we keep bringing him back because I am not really understanding this and don't want to cause him unneeded pain either as we move forward. I guess we will see what happens over the next few weeks and go into the CFT (child family team) meeting with a better understanding of him.

Transitions

New agency called and said that we should be transitioned next week. Hopefully we will get that bed filled with a foster placement. We are also up for license renewal and will open the third placement spot with the renewal which technically is for Mr. C .


Renew my license you say? But we just did. Well technically we only changed licenses. Yup took that long to do a simple switch and we have to start the whole process again for renewal. Wtf?

Lots of Slowgress

I can't call it progress but there was some major drama surrounding the most recent happenings around here. "C" is the new letter in our foster/adoption vocabulary, perhaps it may even come with the letter "J" but for right now the drama and how we got today's Redfile/Information meeting was hive producing stress evoking.

So a month or more ago, not sure now it all kinda runs together, well my friend was contacted about a little boy. She knew that she wasn't going to be able to take him so she suggested us. No call from our current licensing agency, a vendor call had not been placed out for him either. So I was looking at the Heart Gallery and I saw this little boy and contacted his agency. Low and behold it was the same little boy from before. So we continued to find out more and put our names into the hat for selection.

Of course we were chosen to be considered, then all forward progress hit a MAJOR wall. We are changing agency. Our current agency however still holds our adoption certificate. Our new agency doesn't do adoptions just placements, but once the child is placed you can still adopt. So a lot of back and forth and the agency that hold our certification 100% refused to attend the staffing. Why should they when they don't get credit for the placement? Or funding... ok I guess I can see that... but where does that leave us? More importantly where does that leave this little boy???

Advocating for children starts in full swing and we aren't even his parents yet. But I had to climb the ladder up the State's Official Child Protective Agency to get this done. Yes I did contact his DDD and CPS supervisors and bypass the adoption recruiter and both of our agencies to do this. But do this I did.

I sent them my license, I sent them my homestudy, I sent them my adoption certificate, and today we are going to present ourselves infront of a panel selection committee to sell why we think we'd be the best placement for "C"

Wish us luck! But dang, since they saw how hard I fought just to get this meeting, well that has got to tell them something.

A Request Unaswered

Of course the people making requests for us from two other agencies have not received any information or confirmation from our current agency. Yes I know we are not the only ones on their roster, but they have already contacted me about it twice and NOT ONCE contacted the new agency. Also since they own our adoption certification they also have to staff the meeting for "C" which is supposed to be on March 6th. They haven't heard from our worker yet.

I really really need for this transition to happen soon. The little faith I have in their licensing specialists, let alone for their lack of "homefinders" well... yeah I am still pretty frustrated.

It also seems like my current agency is also still lost in the dynamics of our current placement. Seriously? It's like we are all alone when it comes to the actual child, except someone keeps coming out and checking the freaking smoke detectors and dryer vent! (this is real btw)

Another Red File

So one of the kids my friend got a call about is in fact an adoptable boy. He's older, 13, but technically 7. Anyway we were chosen to begin the red file staffing process. Yup another one. Seems all of our placements are coming this way. The problem is if our current agency is going to be responsible for this staffing because technically we have to stay with them for the adoptable children, but they just aren't going to be the ones getting the funding or ultimately paying up our reimbursement rates. Urgh drama drama.

BioMom visit number two today

Until severance she is supposed to have 1 visit a week for about 4 hours so she is going to be here from 10a-2p I guess. Then visits after that will be agreed upon in an adoption agreement. Usually it's either once a quarter or twice a year. I don't have any issue with her coming either of those, as long as no one else comes with her and there is no crap started.

I do wonder however how pre-trial went yesterday? I wonder if they even offered her the chance to relinquish instead of going to trial? I would hope she would have realized that she couldn't parent, but then again, I know I would fight all the way for my children. But I think that she is just going through the motions. I have no idea if the judge in this case or even the GAL in this case is favorable to adoption, but then again they would not have gone ahead with the RedFile staffing right?

I do remember that it was addressed that the mother was not happy with her being moved from the last placement when they were discussing transitions. But during the whole visit she was complaining about how dirty and stinky she was when she was there and admitted to both the GAL and CPS that she looked better and happier here. So I guess we shall know in a month right?



*** update- They did ask her to sign but she said she wanted to go the one more month of visits while the state was paying for them, after that she said she'd sign. ***

I Pulled the Trigger

I met with the other agency. I sent an email warning the old agency that new agency would be calling to facilitate the change. They said it will take like two weeks. How much you want to bet we don't get placed from now until then?

Miss E

As everyone has taken to calling her has settled in. We have a routine that works. We are on the doctor visit train with nearly one a week. I have some catching up to do with her needs. We are still in search of a positioning chair for her that she can use or that we can have SSI buy for her. I have to get a doctor's order specific to her needs. The kid is so floppy and can't even hold her head up and hates to sit... umm.. yeah rolling on the floor and starting to get up on all fours is great and all... but sitting and head control is important too! There is pre-trail for the severance tomorrow, we do not have to go to that one. She also smells soooo much better now! She's so freaking cute, but seems to have a touch of RAD. She is not into cuddles or being held at all...she just was never cuddled before. Yesterday I was pretty upset when hubby told me she was crying for like 15 minutes before bed and no one came and got me! Usually its because someone isn't doing her bedtime routine correctly and Mamma knows what she like already.

In second placement news I have a meeting with new agency tomorrow morning. We will discuss the transition over. My friend has had two more placement calls and her two spaces aren't even empty yet. If I was at the same agency that she was at she could have just referred them to me, instead they had to go out to a vendor call and then... well we all know how sucky my agency is. No calls for us.

#feelingdiscouraged

The phone rang...

But nothing became of it. It was a vendor call from the agency. It goes out to every open bed at every agency. The first to say yes is pretty much placed first. being that we have the last name with an A and we have open beds, you'd think we were near the top of the call list at least. With that being said its important to realize that in a foot/paper/phone call race or whatever you want to call it, our agency is freaking slow. So yup still no faith in their ability to get us a placement but still we keep plugging along toward what is best for our family.

Met BioMom today

The visit went well. She was very interactive with both myself and E. She was very repetitive in some things that she said but she realizes that she just can't handle her. She did complain that the new baby cries all night! She's pretty immature for her age, but with the baby she has more support because the new baby is a typical baby and has a father involved. I think CPS will stay in contact with the family, but since pre-trail is next week, and severance is next month, hopefully things are progressing in the permanent direction.

The Social Worker for the GAL and the CPS worker both kept commenting on how well E looked and how much better she sounded, and how much better she smelled. The GAL was like, "So what's different?" I said, "Just the type of care she is getting."

Still waiting for that elusive phone call

I have zero faith in this agency... have I mentioned that. My friend has a different agency. Her placement went home and two hours later she got her first call. Three calls and three days later and she already has that bed filled. WTF?

Ah the paperwork....

CDH has a lot more paperwork that is for sure. I spent most of the morning getting the monthly packet together. Still waiting on the next call. Hopefully it will be soon though. My friend just got the cutest little girl... I'm jealous. Not that I don't love E... because yeah I totally I already do, but this one is a freaking doll too.

Like a baby...

She is so freaking cute... still so much like a baby though in so many ways too. Today we had to take a trip over to the PCP for a high fever. Was a long day which resulted in some antibiotics for her and some cultures sent off. She still has a weird smell in her trach that just does not smell like it should... we shall see what and if something is growing in it.

Yesterday she was fussy and wouldn't fall asleep until after 12. Today I let her play for an hour, she was rolling all over her room, then gave her a bath lotioned her down with Lavender baby lotion, then changed her trach & ties. After which she watch a little tv while she was being feed and given all of her meds. By the time we got to teeth brushed and vent hooked up she was OUT.

No Nurse tonight, just hubby and I with her overnight and I have to work tomorrow for 5 hours. Hope she has a good day with him.


It seriously takes this much stuff to go anywhere.


PS... Our license is officially open and supposedly we are on the open beds list for vendor calls and for CPS emergencies... so now we are just waiting on the call.

A Few days...

Well it's been pretty busy here the past few days. I've had to work so I haven't gotten a whole lot of time with her, but she is surprising me with how much potential she has and how much she can actually do. I have also learned she is NOT used to being held at all. Honestly I don't think she got any cuddle time by the former foster mom, not even with her nurses. I know that will change while she is here. Right now we have two GREAT nurses for her and they are very good with her. Hubby and I also hold, talk to, and kiss her cheeks a lot. We want her to feel loved and connected and a part of the family. We were able to do it with "I" in the short time we had her, I am hoping for Everley to be bonded to us too.

She also smelled soooo bad when we would visit her and when we got her. That may have also been another thing that was keeping me at arms length with her... I don't know for sure on that one, but it was hard to kiss and cuddle "stink". She smells sooooo much better now. Like a clean baby! Go figure what medicating properly for excessive secretions and giving her a bath daily will do for you. Seriously she smelled sooo bad! Her nails were thick, long and crusty too.

Tomorrow I have a million and one things to do to get her settled in. I need to firstly get her school set up. I need to get all of her doctors called and change the contact information with them and make appointments maybe even perhaps get orders from them for her care for the nurses. I also need to get her therapists set up here, which may include having to get a whole new agency. I also need to get more supplies for her ordered. I already got all of her medications changed and ordered. Then I can pass along a checklist for the nurses to fill out when we need something and teach hubby how to do it.

When you do medical foster care, or assume the care of a medically complex child there is so much that needs to be done and so many people that need to be coordinated with that is for sure.

Gotcha Day

So yesterday we actually picked up Miss Everley... like I said I was changing her name from her original name. Which she will now be known as Everley on social media and the like.

Things went well with the transition. She has seemed to be enjoying her new room and new tv. The nurse for her is very nice and has a lot of experience. I hope she stays.

We are still in the process of settling in everything, I have a million and a one phone calls to make and so much stuff that needs to be coordinated for her. I have to call the school, the doctors, the therapists, and the medical supply company. I also need to get in touch with CPS and licensing.




In other news...

I did not see our license verification come over yesterday online, but that doesn't mean it isn't done. Hopefully it is and we will get another call soon too. It's been too long without a placement so we need to be full ASAP.

Finally after 3 months

Our new license has been submitted to the state for review and approval. Here's hoping that by next week we are FULL!

What does a new worker mean to you?

That one more person has no f clue what is going on, and one more person who will delay transition again!

Signed off

Licensing agency has said they have completed the amendment and are submitting to state. The DDD has finally received all of the sign offs from various training agencies and has signed off. CPS, or whatever we call it these days requested a date from me so they can sign off.... So.....

Special delivery

Her crib was delivered today.


Apparently the vent training paperwork has not been sent to DDD nurse yet, which at this time is the only hold up. This WILL be done!

The sad part is....

That this agency STILL hasn't completed and sent the information over to the state yet. It's always it'll be so quick. Then one more thing they need from us, or lost from the first time, or changed a policy on...or,or,or... URGH!!

Is it any wonder that I have VERY little faith in this agency to actually do what they need to do or provide what we need for them to provide? I swear this new Case Manager is even more vapid than the last and has left me with a certainty that we are in fact changing agencies over the the one my friend uses as soon as they finally post our amendment to our license.

Either way, despite having completed the hoops that we need to jump through to bring little "E" home... not all of the i's and t's have been even given their respective dots and crosses from the medical agencies or passed along the proper channels to the DDD nurse sign off on. Yet again another STATE agency in this state that has a dropped the ball on something they should have been over seeing. I have been the one facilitating all of this... it's supposed to be MY licensing worker or the home finder at the very least who makes sure that the process has been moving forward and at least be aware of the fact that the scheduled transition is for next week!

Today we needed to update a rabies vaccination and submit another fire evacuation plan to the agency (we haven't moved since the last one). The vaccination has expired though by two days so that is my bad. We also have our checkoff's with the current Nursing Agency supervisor for "E"s care. We have to prove that we can provide her care with no prompting! Seriously though, vent and trach aside...she's pretty straight forward... or is it just that I have been doing this type of nursing for over 3 years and the clinical stuff is second nature... it's the Mom stuff that takes a little more time... of course when we were doing all of those visits with "I" they just come naturally... Once a Mom always a Mom... we just know things :-)

What I learned today

March is severance for E. Yet currently her biomother has full legal custody of her, so what that means is that yes she could actually stop the transition. I kinda knew this, which is why honestly I have no huge "hopes" for this one. Kinda like burn me once...never get burned twice,

We are still moving forward though, I think she just wants to know that we will remain in contact with her after the adoption.

By the 21-24thish

Training tomorrow, training next Thursday. Maybe we will have some forward progress? Hubby is sick this week, so is he quitting working now or not? Who knows what is gonna happen, but it is a way to access some money we need.

A few steps forward

Finally got a hold of the vent lady. Training and set up will be on this Friday.
This Friday is also the "last" step in the changing the license phase. Perhaps we are finally getting closer to having a placement again. I am wary to say a forever placement because well because.

If it's not one thing it's another

Why does there have to be so much shit surrounding this process? Yet again delayed the licensing change. At this rate, people just now taking the PSMAPP course will have CDH placements before us. This agency is SOOOO fired as soon as they finally submit the last of the required paperwork. I am so over it!