This is probably the part he missed the most

Putting together the Barbie toys for the girls. I think he was actually playing with them too though.

The decision is... there is no decision

As expected nothing was decided at court. The goal remains reunification, the visits will increase to twice a week at some point, not sure what point that actually is and they are still supervised. Let's see... oh the next court date is July 31st.

I wonder, if the hope of the parents is to have the kids back prior to the start of their next school year, and that is Aug 1st, will the judge issue an order to return the kids on July 31st on the 1st?

Be careful what you agree to

In our case... if w do not have all of this red tape navigated correctly then I will be forced to have them remove the girls in an emergency placement. We had our home inspection, they did the amendment ( or at the very least the state received the request for it) the girls are here, however, they are not here under billable hours. We agreed to a non-family kinship care situation with the understanding it would be for 1 week only. Now they are saying that it hasn't been changed yet.

Although I have a friend who was offered her husbands grandchildren as a kinship foster placement and was offered a rate higher than the one I was quoted. So what gives? Is it my agency that are trying to cheat me... or the state?

Oh this will be straightened out today at 4pm when both the CPS and my licensing workers are here!

Overslept

I kinda did it on purpose but I just did not feel like making the 40 round trip drive to the Ariel's school today or fighting with them about having to go with me for the drive, or fighting with Ariel to get dressed when the other two do not have to go.

Sorry but I was tired. I won't be able to be at their court hearing today... but I am dying to know what happens!

1 more week of school

And all 3 will be out for the summer. Then what? I think I may need to consider a few hours of a summer camp day camp, but not sure how to coordinate that. I will have to look into it for tomorrow.

We can only do so much swimming before the I'm boreds set it. I have a few trips planned, but we have had some unexpected expenses pop up so we are a little short on funds for those things until July.

Oh well... I'll figure something out.

Entitled and Dramatic

The two words that are most descriptive today of the behavior we have been experiencing. Course I expect it. Of course they do not expect my reaction.

Case in point... Belle needs an eye patch at least 6 hours a day, which she has not spent much time wearing I am sure. So today when I put it on after breakfast and we were met with a semi-meltdown which consisted of a few minutes of pouting with a little throw myself on the floor for affect. (Could have been worse) She is my screamer and best complainer ever.

Entitled on the other hand wants things now, we are no fun if we are not buying her things, and rearranges and takes things because she wants them to be her way. There are some cognitive and mental health issues associated with this, and Miss Ariel has also learned that gifts = attention and love. So despite this her ability to be redirected is positive. Although she responds well to bribery, which is very telling about parenting styles used on her in the past. I bribe with choices and consequences. They can choose to accept them or not.

I have a pretty matter of fact explanation for things... No it's not payday if you want extra you need a job. Once I start getting reimbursed for their care and expenses, things will be a bit better, but with the move to this house and the utility deposit expenses I am more than broke right now... and will be for at least the next month or so. I think the first state check comes on July 15th or at least I hope it does. It will really take the pressure off of us and allow for a few fun things this summer, like the water park, science museum, ballgames and maybe even a camping trip.

Perspective

You know how you go into things thinking one way and then you are in the middle of it and you start to think that perhaps you may think differently now that you know more?

I went into Foster Care thinking that reunification was a bad idea and a myth of sorts. I mean these kids are taken sometimes from the worst of the worst things that you can ever imagine. How would you in good conscience send them back?

You hear about parents getting chance after chance of getting their kids back, "working their program" so to speak, yet many fail over and over to do so, and the children flounder until their case has spent so many years open and they eventually age out of permanency options because of this. Instead roaming from home to home, or even State facilities.

So what happens when you go into a case with so many negatives, things you have read or heard, yet you start to believe that perhaps some people can and do make the effort to get their lives together to support their children and get them back. On paper things start to look like the changes are being implemented and the parents are complying with the courts.

Does then the best interests of the family and children, which are for them to be together seem like an ideal outcome or does it remain a myth?

Can people really change that much?

Dreadful dreadful dreadful

Start to the day... the youngest instead of doing what she was told to do, find her shoes, was outside in the backyard and locked her self out there, then wiped sunblock in her eyes after being told do not touch your face with your hands until they dry and as soon as I sprayed it on, she wiped her eye in an instant. I think it was opposite day today... and yes I did have to raise my voice today a few times.

We were also late to school... can you say, CPS will be providing transport next year if they are staying in the same school?

Ah the old bait and switch

You know how you tell them when you agree to foster parent what your preferences are? Well inevitably you wind up with exactly what you said you didn't want ;-)

Routines

I am all about routines as we always had one when my children we little. We had a system for getting up and out the door for school. Now school is almost over for the summer, so the system won't really be needed, but of course bedtime routines are a must as well. I think having a system and a routine eases adjustment and makes our expectations known right up front. Family meeting Friday night.

Of course we still need to sort the clothes. Tonight there is supposed to be a music concert at the littles' school so we won't be able to establish that effectively. I hope to have everyone's own clothes in their own rooms by this weekend. Better yet I hope to have them organized and inventoried as well. ( Yup gotta take an inventory of EVERYTHING that came with them and put it into their files) Bleck more paperwork... my fav ;-)

The fact that I have a few minutes to type this means we are still in the honeymoon phase and did not have any major meltdowns this morning.

Let the games begin

Yummm yeah... I may be out of practice but I managed dinner, swimming, showers, snacks, teeth and hair brushed and 3 little girls into bed and was only 10 minutes late for work :-)

Also they may have come with a sacks filled with clothes but the sizes are so close I have no idea who's clothes are who's!

Clothes

What happened to the days when foster kids came with a trash bag... not a pickup filled with clothes and random things? Of course this is not your usual case and these are good things to have (because I don't have to buy them starter clothes) but dang this is a lot of work!

Tomorrow

Is the big day the girls will be coming here after school, I am picking them up.

Fact one today's meeting was a welcome to the world of Foster Parenting 101 Administration style. Met a few members of the family as well.

Fact two court is next week.

Fact three reunification is still very much on the table.

Fact four reunification will probably be before the school year starts.







Fact five... My foster/adoptions worker has children lined up and waiting in the wings to match with us!

Milestones and whatnot

My youngest is graduating highschool next week and leaves for Army Basic Training in August. My oldest is moving into her first apartment near campus in two weeks. I am NOT ready for an empty nest... I miss the pitter patter of little feet and baby voices. I miss having kids to cook for and to chat with. I miss being a Mommy.

I think we are one week away from the girls moving in... they almost were here this Sunday. But OLCR has not come and inspected the new house yet... good thing, because we are not quite ready, but we are getting there. I just need 1 more paycheck :-)

On the agenda...

Getting the girls rooms set up, finishing up the playroom, and a DIY project that consists of refinishing my old kitchen table so that once again I can use it as a kitchen table for the new house, as former new kitchen table has now been placed in the dinning room.

I have to hit up Target to get a Hello Kitty comforter for Ariel ( she made sure to ask the sales person at the store if there would be some left when we went to pick it up today, so as not to miss out on it- She was very worried about it and would not leave the store until she spoke with someone about it, as that was the last one on the shelf and we weren't buying it that day it set her off)

I also need to get to IKEA and get a few rails and bins to hook up in the playroom as well to use for art supplies. I also want to get to the fabric store to pick up some cute fabric for the window treatments for said Playroom. It's be nice to have 1 room done.

CASA, CFT & Court

All new terms to get used to seeing on here I guess. Spoke with the CASA and she informed me that there was in fact a CFT Meeting for on Monday and there is a court date on May 29th.

A CFT is a meeting for the team members to discuss the goals of the court case and if everyone is on-board with the same thing when they go in-front of the judge on the 29th.

I called the girls placing agency and she was not aware of the CFT meeting time and place but was aware of court.

So looks like I get to spend my first day in family court on the 29th.

Also the home inspection should be on the 23rd which should put us on target for the move. Although I did not receive a phone call from them today, but I hope she just called them back and said the date and any time that day worked for me.

Phone Calls and Emails

We should be getting the girls soon. I received a few emails today to touch base with us and request face to face meetings from the kids CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) as well as their placing agency. I also received an email from the therapist wanting to meet with us as well.

I expect our place to be pretty busy over the next two weeks.

We should also be getting a phone call to set up an appointment for the state to come in and re-certify the new house. At this time that is the only thing that is holding up the girls moving in with us now.

With all of this being said I still have no idea exactly how much the reimbursement will be per month for them. I was quoted an awfully LOW rate... they better had been mistaken! The biggest issue is the travel costs for all of the visits and appointments that these girls have. I'd be one thing if it were parents. But it's extended family as well.

Oh well we shall see how this all plays out.

Back online

All moved pretty much and back online. We had the girls last night for dinner and a shopping trip, at which time some things became very evident. 1- The oldest has to ave been misdiagnosed. She has a laundry list all of which can be placed in one category. 2. We obtained some more information about the initial removal of the girls. 3. We received a copy of an email from BioMom which she sent to the CPS worker. I think we are in for some drama. I also think it is possible that they will go home after the next court date, but I wouldn't bet on it.

Moving Day

Moving Day for us is here. finally we will move into the A Mansion.

Too fast or what?

Hubby asked me a sincere question today which shocked me. Lately he has been pretty, "Ah whatever" when it comes to the foster care front. It's like pulling teeth some days to get him to tell me what he is thinking about this and if he has reservations or whatever.

Today we were driving back from the new house and he asked me, " Does it feel like this is all happening too fast?"

Honestly I am not sure if it is "fast" persay, since this has seemed to drag on and everything, but it seems like everything just came into alignment all at the same time.

The call about our current house being on the market and SOLD btw too. Then the call right after that about the new house being empty two months early.

Then the call a week or whatever before our license was completed about already having a placement for the girls.

Then being licensed exactly when we needed to be.


As a matter of fact, yesterday as we were moving things and shopping for the girls things, I arbitrarily stated, " This would be so much easier if our State income tax refund came in."

Today I checked the bank and there it was. I mean come on... is this divine intervention, fate, or something totally different. I just feel like this is what we are meant to do, so the universe is making our path clear and allowing us to properly prepare and enjoy it at the same time.

I am not complaining at all... I am feeling so joyous and so thankful for everything. I just so much want this transition for the girls to be as stress free as possible.

Officially licensed

We are officially licensed foster parents. We have to get our new home inspected and then the girls can come to stay with us. They are pretty excited as are we. Hopefully it will be a fun summer for all.

The three little Princesses

Ok so we met the girls today... and yeah I will be calling them by their favorite Princesses names ever after. Ariel (9), Belle(7) and Cinderella (6). Which is convenient since it is ABC birth order. Cinderella was a toss up though with another Princess but we shall stick to the ABC order so I can refer to the shortened versions if necessary.

They are cute and wanted to come home with us already. I can see some issues that may arise but all in all the foster mom said they are eager to please and very easy to parent.

Case plan is the same... concurrent with RU and Adoption as possibilities. Bio extended family is very involved and there will be quite a few visits happening. We will be pretty busy.

Excited to get moving and get the rooms and the house in somewhat of a settled place. Good thing is we do not have to buy beds!

Ok need to read some more of the files... license should be issued tomorrow they think. :-D

Status Post Incomplete Application

Although not for the reasons that I thought they would say. I received an email today with a laundry list of things missing from our application that we most certainly had in on time and completed.

Like I said we were only short Frank's divorce declaration and 1 personal reference. But NONE of those were listed in the email. Things like the criminal background and physician statements, as well as a few signature sheets, were listed instead. I just hope our licensing worker is quick with complying with the requests for these items, since she has them all. More importantly I hope she can rescan them or upload them to our application fast. Because if that is all they are missing, and I know we have all of those in... and it only takes 1 day to review them. Then our license should then be approved by this weekend?

Fingers, eye, toes, whatever you got... cross them!

Sending Inquiries

So I sent an inquiry for a special needs child that is direct placement adoption she is AA and 4.

I think if we choose to do this AND pursue the foster placement for the sibling set... they will amend as needed and it won't be a huge issue. I think. I mean the CPS rules for beds and placements are always emergency amended where space dictates "rules" change. After all we have PLENTY of space.

So we shall see what our adoption worker says.

Researched

Did a little research on the family of our perspective 1st placement. Actually despite the reasons these girls are coming into care, I think they are very loved and will go back with their parents now that they have started visits. Maybe even before the start of the school year. I think that they will get everything they need in order and will have their kids back.

Tough situation but definitely one that I hope turns out well.

Now we just need to get moved and make our licence official so that we can actually get our placements started... whether these kids or an alternate sib set.

Toys

Picked up a kitchen center and sent a few emails to some craigslist ads for some used Barbie stuff to start getting the toys ready for the up coming placements.

I figure whether we do in fact end up with the girls, or get other placements, it is best to start with at least having things for the playroom, because not having any little kids in many years now, we have ZERO toys.

So, one of the first things we are making a priority, as we get ready for the big move, is to get a special room ready for them that is not just a bedroom. We looked at Target and Ikea and will be getting a storage bin system as well as a craft table with coloring paper. I will of course be getting things personally for the kids, but I want to have things here that can be used for all kids. So we will have to get a bin with boys toys as well. Lots of Goodwill, Salvation Army, and yard sales in our future I guess.

Oh and also getting stuff for the patio and pool ready... which is actually related to play as well.

Last Day

So we completed the Medically Fragile Training class so now we can Foster and Adopt ages 0-17 as well as those with medical conditions. Our license is in "assigned to liaison" status which means it has been sitting on the desk of someone at the state for two weeks and is now under review. Our Homestudy worker said that it will be kicked back because one of the references was late, she has that one and will send it, which adds another day or so. I hope it won't be kicked back because we don't have the dissolution of marriage notice (divorce decree) from Frank's divorce, because it is still being searched for in vital records, because we didn't have an exact date for the divorce judgement anymore.

What this means is if they don't flag it for that paper, we should have our licence in two weeks from the 1st and be on track for getting the girls for Memorial Day.

First Placement Call

Ages 5, 7 & 9 Reunification with a concurrent plan for adoption. Although I am sure this is going to be a reunification with bioparents. Transition visits will begin prior to move. Placement at end of school year which is in two weeks, if all goes well. Fingers crossed. It's not for sure but the placement and licensing worker for the girls called us already and we had our disclosure conversation so I think that means we were chosen.

Good thing we are moving into the A Mansion soon!