We spoke with the lawyer today. It helped that we'd used her previous as they already had our information. She'll send us the fee agreement to sign and she said she'd contact the adoptions worker by email today. I also spoke with the adoptions worker today and she filed her part and is expecting the email.
Today we had to officially give the "new" names for the kids. We only changed middle and last names. But it's the last names that are most important anyway!
Monday, December 28, 2015
Sunday, December 27, 2015
Best Christmas present...
Arrived in the mail on December 26th. We are officially adoption certified. Tomorrow we call the lawyer to get the petition ready to file to get our court date to adopt D and S!!
M won't be free until after March at the earliest, but we have till the end of August 2017 on this certificate or something like that.
Finally finally finally.... Of course now we wait more :-( Longest "pregnancy" ever.
M won't be free until after March at the earliest, but we have till the end of August 2017 on this certificate or something like that.
Finally finally finally.... Of course now we wait more :-( Longest "pregnancy" ever.
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Sometimes I feel like I'm chasing my tail
No love it when doctors listen to me and know that I know what I'm talking about. I don't like it when they are more apt to brush off my concerns and I especially hate playing phone tag with a specialist. The insurance nightmare is freaking ridiculous. If the medication is order pay for the freaking thing. If you already see my child, except at a different clinic, where you won't be for a few months, then why do I need a new referral to see you?
Are puss draining eyes and ears and a lump in the sinus not important enough to you? We've been through two different rounds of antibiotics. No change. I'm think X-ray at minimum, ct at maximum.... What the heck is in there? I could go to the ER but he's not feverish nor acting sick... I don't want him to get something from being there. But seriously... It's his only eye!
Are puss draining eyes and ears and a lump in the sinus not important enough to you? We've been through two different rounds of antibiotics. No change. I'm think X-ray at minimum, ct at maximum.... What the heck is in there? I could go to the ER but he's not feverish nor acting sick... I don't want him to get something from being there. But seriously... It's his only eye!
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Knowing your limits
In foster care knowing your limits is sometimes hard to accomplish. People keep telling me " you can't save them all." Which I am not trying to do. I'm not saving anyone. But I am a mom and I do mom things. Like want to take care of those that need it. I am not superwoman and hubby is not superman. His superdad cape does not extend to newborn babies. 4 was too many. Too little sleep and jealous toddlers do not make for a happy home.
We said no more babies after Spud came. We should have stuck to that. So what does this all mean?
We asked to have Baby J moved. Our agency wouldn't or couldn't get us an ammendment and I was not onboard to provide care without pay. I'm not a free babysitter, no mater what CPS or BM may think. Having the baby meant I couldn't work at all... I need to work at least part time. I like money :-)
We said no more babies after Spud came. We should have stuck to that. So what does this all mean?
We asked to have Baby J moved. Our agency wouldn't or couldn't get us an ammendment and I was not onboard to provide care without pay. I'm not a free babysitter, no mater what CPS or BM may think. Having the baby meant I couldn't work at all... I need to work at least part time. I like money :-)
Friday, December 4, 2015
We are tired
No sleep in this house. Baby J is a night owl. Unfortunately he has to move to another foster home because our agency sucks and is additionally stupid under new management and we can't get an Ammendment for the sibling. So yeah there's that. I'm ok with it in a sense that seriously I'm tired and we said no more babies. I'm pissed because our agency has law interpretation issues and I'm not confident in their abilities to keep their heads out of their asses. So yeah... New agency search is on.
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Team Decision Meeting
It's the first step when a kid comes into care. We had that yesterday and Baby J will be staying with us a little longer. Maybe a month only depending on how fast BM can get housing that is safe. I sure hope she gets it soon. I miss sleep.
I have an interview for a teaching position on Thursday. I am thinking it won't come to fruition because new baby = no time for work. Heck the other three equal no time for work. But I think I would love the opportunity just the same.
D has had an ear infection going on three weeks now. We have started another new antibiotic. I'm hoping this one works as the next option is injectable or infusion. I refuse to allow them to give the injectable version and thus he'd end up admitted for Iv course instead. He already had tubes... Do we have check with the ENT to see about the next steps to preventing it.
S is growing and developing so fast. She doesn't speak yet, she actually screams in her monotone scream for her wants and needs. We are working on trying to get her some sort of vocabulary. Chronologically she's about to turn 18 months but actually she's 14 months. Which means she should be talking at least a little. She's crawling and sitting. She's thought about pulling to stand but she's afraid to fall. She walks while holding your fingers and in the walker. She does not cruise furniture yet, mostly for the same reason she doesn't pull to stand, she's afraid to fall. She had lots of fears. She is still not eating food. But she is tasting and swallowing bites I actually catch her off guard with.
Spud is a mystery still. Now they are worried about vision loss but that appointment isn't till January. We are still in Neuro testing mode. So far he's failed many tests. No definitive diagnosis yet, but spastic cerebral palsy is in the lead. He got his helmet for fixing the flat part of his head and we decorated it with some r2d2 stickers. His BM has admitted in court to het desire to relinquish rights to him because his needs are just too great for her.
We are still awaiting our adoption certification from the courts so that we can get an adoption date for at minimum D and S.
I have an interview for a teaching position on Thursday. I am thinking it won't come to fruition because new baby = no time for work. Heck the other three equal no time for work. But I think I would love the opportunity just the same.
D has had an ear infection going on three weeks now. We have started another new antibiotic. I'm hoping this one works as the next option is injectable or infusion. I refuse to allow them to give the injectable version and thus he'd end up admitted for Iv course instead. He already had tubes... Do we have check with the ENT to see about the next steps to preventing it.
S is growing and developing so fast. She doesn't speak yet, she actually screams in her monotone scream for her wants and needs. We are working on trying to get her some sort of vocabulary. Chronologically she's about to turn 18 months but actually she's 14 months. Which means she should be talking at least a little. She's crawling and sitting. She's thought about pulling to stand but she's afraid to fall. She walks while holding your fingers and in the walker. She does not cruise furniture yet, mostly for the same reason she doesn't pull to stand, she's afraid to fall. She had lots of fears. She is still not eating food. But she is tasting and swallowing bites I actually catch her off guard with.
Spud is a mystery still. Now they are worried about vision loss but that appointment isn't till January. We are still in Neuro testing mode. So far he's failed many tests. No definitive diagnosis yet, but spastic cerebral palsy is in the lead. He got his helmet for fixing the flat part of his head and we decorated it with some r2d2 stickers. His BM has admitted in court to het desire to relinquish rights to him because his needs are just too great for her.
We are still awaiting our adoption certification from the courts so that we can get an adoption date for at minimum D and S.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Thanksgiving visitor
Got a call today saying Spuds brother was coming into care. Little J showed up a few hours later. Urgent care visit for a pretty massive case of thrush. But other than that your typical newborn baby who even takes a bottle!
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Spud is a Big Brother
Born exactly 11 months to the day apart. Spud is three inches taller than his baby brother and 9 pounds heavier. I'm bringing her all the stuff the boys outgrew. Because seriously I am not taking more babies. If and or when we have grandchildren they will get new things anyway. But I'm nice sometimes lol.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
no more oxygen
Spud is free. Mostly he freed himself. We have weaned him off from the day and even his naps during the day. He had oxygen still for bedtime. He has decided that he wants to take it off. Last night he was off the off whole nightg. He's monitored so I can still hear if he desats and if he recovers. The monitor went off 4 times last night but recovered up to 94-97 less than 3 beeps later.
Unfortunately all of the babies also have seemed to catch a cold. So we shall see how he does with it. But this is great news.
Unfortunately all of the babies also have seemed to catch a cold. So we shall see how he does with it. But this is great news.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
We have 6
As in 6 kids. Currently I am the expectant mother of 6. A place I had never expected to be when I heard the words, "You have uterine cancer". Just like that my dreams of having children with my new husband had been dashed forever. Countless invasive infertility tests, surgeries, and inseminations down the drain. Wiped away with 4 simple words. Years of trying to conceive a child were dashed with the news that at 27, I needed a total hysterectomy and removal of my ovaries. I was lucky though, because this was secondary infertility. I already have two biological children. They were and are amazing. But I didn't feel lucky.
I moved forward with life and decided on a new route. Time for different dreams. I decided to move 2500 miles away from everything that I'd known in my adult life, to leave all of my extended family, in order to start over. Something was calling me back to Arizona. I thought it was the weather. But I think maybe there was another plan.
The year my daughter started high school was the year I decided that enough was enough and I needed to get serious. $12 an hour and constant struggling was not a lifestyle I wanted to maintain. I decided to fulfill my other dream. When I didn't want to be a mother, I wanted to be a nurse. So I did it. I worked hard and obtained my nursing degree. I did it in steps. LPN then RN. But I did it. I did it with the help of amazing family and support. Just like moving across the country, many thought I couldn't or wouldn't do it. But I did.
Even though we'd moved thousands of miles away, even though I couldn't have children of my own, children were never far from my thoughts. I'd researched many ways to have children. From surrogacy to foreign adoption, and even foster care. Id thought about fostering previous to becoming a nurse. We'd even gone to the first few classes about 6 months after we'd moved to Arizona. I always felt like there was someone missing from our family. Always! But the kids then 10 and 11 at the time, decided that they did not want to share rooms or share parents, because the thought of taking a baby had never crossed my mind. For some reason when I'd thought of foster care it'd always been school aged children, who had issues. So we nixed that idea and didn't think about it again for a few years.
Then I started working Pediatric Home Health Care. I met a wonderful family. They were foster parents. They were foster parents to the most fragile of children. They were busy. They were inspiring. They were a type of foster parent that I didn't even know existed. They were the type of foster parents that a person with a nursing license was destined to become. Because of a special family and a special little girl. I was called to parent again. I think Jackie is our guiding spirit, our guardian angle. She walks with Jesus now, but daily I feel her presence. I can hear her voice, " Miss you should get a baby. So I can help you. I'm a good mother." A few weeks before her 11th birthday we were picking out her doll. All she wanted that year was to be a Mom. We picked out the real life baby doll. A boy doll. She had to have that one. I wish I could find that site I found it on so I could post the picture of it.
Our first baby was born 4 months later around the same time that Emily came to us. She would have loved her too. But she wasn't the baby Jackie had wanted, because she was 3. When D came to us 2.5 months after that, I could feel her smiling down at us. This was her baby. This was the one she'd picked out. My heart sang because here was that real life doll she'd wanted for her birthday that year, the birthday that had never come for her. But I know she is watching.
Samantha, Daniel, Emily, and I can't wait until D and S and M can add their names to this list as well. Is 6 the end? Never say never... Jackie is up there probably waiting to send the next one to us soon.
I moved forward with life and decided on a new route. Time for different dreams. I decided to move 2500 miles away from everything that I'd known in my adult life, to leave all of my extended family, in order to start over. Something was calling me back to Arizona. I thought it was the weather. But I think maybe there was another plan.
The year my daughter started high school was the year I decided that enough was enough and I needed to get serious. $12 an hour and constant struggling was not a lifestyle I wanted to maintain. I decided to fulfill my other dream. When I didn't want to be a mother, I wanted to be a nurse. So I did it. I worked hard and obtained my nursing degree. I did it in steps. LPN then RN. But I did it. I did it with the help of amazing family and support. Just like moving across the country, many thought I couldn't or wouldn't do it. But I did.
Even though we'd moved thousands of miles away, even though I couldn't have children of my own, children were never far from my thoughts. I'd researched many ways to have children. From surrogacy to foreign adoption, and even foster care. Id thought about fostering previous to becoming a nurse. We'd even gone to the first few classes about 6 months after we'd moved to Arizona. I always felt like there was someone missing from our family. Always! But the kids then 10 and 11 at the time, decided that they did not want to share rooms or share parents, because the thought of taking a baby had never crossed my mind. For some reason when I'd thought of foster care it'd always been school aged children, who had issues. So we nixed that idea and didn't think about it again for a few years.
Then I started working Pediatric Home Health Care. I met a wonderful family. They were foster parents. They were foster parents to the most fragile of children. They were busy. They were inspiring. They were a type of foster parent that I didn't even know existed. They were the type of foster parents that a person with a nursing license was destined to become. Because of a special family and a special little girl. I was called to parent again. I think Jackie is our guiding spirit, our guardian angle. She walks with Jesus now, but daily I feel her presence. I can hear her voice, " Miss you should get a baby. So I can help you. I'm a good mother." A few weeks before her 11th birthday we were picking out her doll. All she wanted that year was to be a Mom. We picked out the real life baby doll. A boy doll. She had to have that one. I wish I could find that site I found it on so I could post the picture of it.
Our first baby was born 4 months later around the same time that Emily came to us. She would have loved her too. But she wasn't the baby Jackie had wanted, because she was 3. When D came to us 2.5 months after that, I could feel her smiling down at us. This was her baby. This was the one she'd picked out. My heart sang because here was that real life doll she'd wanted for her birthday that year, the birthday that had never come for her. But I know she is watching.
Samantha, Daniel, Emily, and I can't wait until D and S and M can add their names to this list as well. Is 6 the end? Never say never... Jackie is up there probably waiting to send the next one to us soon.
In pictures
Emily got a new toy! Finally a gait trainer for home. Alternative mode of transport instead of rolling along the floor. With the babies becoming mobile and moving toward walking themselves... this is a very important step for her gaining independence. 
Halloween came and the babies looked adorable. We did not trick-or-treat. D was cranky and I had to hold him up to even snap this pic, plus his face is not visible. S puked everywhere after getting scared by a car driving by. She's afraid of everything these days. Spud's costume had an unfortunate placement of the tail so he couldn't sit well. Plus looks like he was eating his oxygen.
Speaking of Spud. I finally found a newborn picture of him. He turns 1 next month on Pearl Harbor Day. Despite his challenges, he really has come a long way.
Halloween came and the babies looked adorable. We did not trick-or-treat. D was cranky and I had to hold him up to even snap this pic, plus his face is not visible. S puked everywhere after getting scared by a car driving by. She's afraid of everything these days. Spud's costume had an unfortunate placement of the tail so he couldn't sit well. Plus looks like he was eating his oxygen.
Speaking of Spud. I finally found a newborn picture of him. He turns 1 next month on Pearl Harbor Day. Despite his challenges, he really has come a long way.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
A waiting game
Right now we are just waiting on the judge to certify our application to adopt. Then we contact the lawyer to get them to file the intent for each child. The only question... will it be two or three that the intent is for? Nov 18th is the court date for Spud which will be just a change of case plan from reunification/serverance to severance only. However the BM wants to relinquish to us.
Either way I really just can't wait to make these two mine!
Either way I really just can't wait to make these two mine!
Saturday, October 31, 2015
And then she asked me for money...
It was only $60 but it's a precedent that I don't want to set. Can you wire it to me? I need it to go shopping for stuff for the new baby. The people I am staying with are going to the store right now. $60 is an arbitrary number for getting baby stuff, when we told her we have a swing, a bassinet, a ton of clothes and newborn diapers for her. I'm thinking it was for another reason. But incase you didn't know, I don't give money. I'll give you stuff. I'll buy you diapers or formula, but I don't give money. You hold up a sign and ask for money for food. I'll give you a sandwich. I don't give money. My nieces ( my brothers girls) are the begging for handout types. They learned the same thing, I don't give money. I give my time. I share my home. I offer advise. But unless I gave birth to you or adopted you...or you gave birth to me, I don't give money.
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Sitting down to budget
The time is getting close to make some huge decisions for our family. To close our foster license or keep it open. To take more children after our adoptions of D and S are final or not. Spud is still here of course and it doesn't look like he's going anywhere soon, but he also has a sibling coming which we really can't take in. Which brings us to. We really can't bring in anymore children because D is very high needs and requires a lot of attention. Emily has a lot of additional therapies coming up as does S. Spud is so far behind that he needs more time. If I were home it'd be different, but hubby has a lower threshold than I do of course.
So thus it brings us to budget. The house and it's up keep are very pricey. Hubby thinks if there is money in the bank he should spend it. Having more kids requires help, help cost money. So a budget meeting is for sure in order.
Big decisions on the horizon.
So thus it brings us to budget. The house and it's up keep are very pricey. Hubby thinks if there is money in the bank he should spend it. Having more kids requires help, help cost money. So a budget meeting is for sure in order.
Big decisions on the horizon.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Final adoption paperwork in
Well sent and received the final adoption paperwork needed for the new homestudy to be filed. It took so long because I have a major issue with procrastination and we both needed our physicals. Now I just have to fill in the subsidy packet for S and collect the last few remaining doctor forms for the kids. The problem is that there are two different workers, but we were told they are joining offices so Ds worker will be coordinating with Ss worker to see about getting a combo adoption date! I'll take two different I don't care I just want to make them mine.
Monday, October 5, 2015
Spuds update
Just keeps getting bigger yet is still just a newborn love bug. We've had some huge doctor appointments lately to include Neurology who has mentioned CP as in cerebral palsy as a possibility. Birth mom was at that appointment, she hasn't returned her parent aides phone call for visits since that day. She tends to do this a lot, disappear and reappear and follow her plan. This is not an unusl pattern in the world of foster care though. The problem is that she's due to have another baby next month. CPS is considering taking it, but I think the issue with Spud is that he's fragile, medical, and not going to be the portable baby she wants that she can show off.
I think we are back on the path to relinquish or severance for him. I wonder if new baby brother comes if it'll make a difference?
I think we are back on the path to relinquish or severance for him. I wonder if new baby brother comes if it'll make a difference?
Monday, September 21, 2015
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Home study Update
Tomorrow they come to start our adoption homestudy. We've been collecting paperwork that they need, course we already had it all since this is not new information they are requesting. The only thing lacking really are the physician statements we need to get done. We don't really have a PCP currently, plus our old one triple charges. So we need to get those done and I need to give them pays stubs. I don't actually get those from one of my jobs, but the other one I actually need to get paid first, since I just started that job. I have supplied them with last years tax return, so maybe that will work. Who knows.
I just hope they complete their portion ASAP, like just get a copy of our old one and add a few different kid names to it!
I just hope they complete their portion ASAP, like just get a copy of our old one and add a few different kid names to it!
Friday, September 11, 2015
Miss S
Our days consist of therapy and play that is actually therapy. Miss S has come a very long way this summer. She can sit unsupported. She can even get herself from a laying down to a sitting positions most times. She rolls all over, her bed mostly, but she can roll. She also has started standing and is figuring out that if she holds my fingers she can pull to stand. She just started moving in the walker too. She's into thinks now which is scary for sure.
She is also very verbal and is babbling a lot. She's interested in playing with the other babies and even laughs at shows on tv. She likes to give Mama kisses and will bring her face eye to eye with me and giggle.
She still has her struggles. She still won't eat. Anything that gets too far onto her tongue induces vomiting. Although she had a webbed tongue tie the doctor and dentist state it's "normal" for her age...makes no sense to me. She also has aversions to textures and getting her hands dirty. She's such a princess.
I am so proud of how far she has come and just how much she is doing.
She is also very verbal and is babbling a lot. She's interested in playing with the other babies and even laughs at shows on tv. She likes to give Mama kisses and will bring her face eye to eye with me and giggle.
She still has her struggles. She still won't eat. Anything that gets too far onto her tongue induces vomiting. Although she had a webbed tongue tie the doctor and dentist state it's "normal" for her age...makes no sense to me. She also has aversions to textures and getting her hands dirty. She's such a princess.
I am so proud of how far she has come and just how much she is doing.
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Creeping Pages on the "Book"
I found some news on the three girls of our first placement. They appear to be going well with Mom in the city. Parents are divorced. Glad they have some semblance of a normal life, albeit the mom was the crazy one.
Monday, August 31, 2015
Selfish Reasons
"You are amazing people, you are saints, I couldn't do that... they are so lucky to have you." Things I hear people say. I do agree that we are amazing people, but not because of what we do, but just because we are us. I do not think we are saints, since I know for sure we are sinners everyday. Perhaps yes my kids are very lucky to have me, because well I'm awesome!
I don't need praise or epithets in our honor for doing what we do or "taking" the children that we do... because I do it for selfish reasons. I'm so lucky to get to see the smiles on these faces everyday and so lucky I get to hold them and that they seek my comfort. I'm so lucky that they were chosen for me to be a part of their lives. I'm so lucky that I get to hear first giggles, words, and help them to achieve their milestones.
So yeah I do this for selfish reasons, because I was not finished being an active Mommy.
I don't need praise or epithets in our honor for doing what we do or "taking" the children that we do... because I do it for selfish reasons. I'm so lucky to get to see the smiles on these faces everyday and so lucky I get to hold them and that they seek my comfort. I'm so lucky that they were chosen for me to be a part of their lives. I'm so lucky that I get to hear first giggles, words, and help them to achieve their milestones.
So yeah I do this for selfish reasons, because I was not finished being an active Mommy.
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Always "On"
Some days I think that I am just faking it. Some days the need or rather the feeling of having to be "on" all the time is draining.
We get a lot of home based services for our kids. Speech, physical therapy, vision therapy, and nursing. Add to that the constant meetings with case workers and other team members for these kiddos and there are more people in and out of our house. Next week we start allowing Spuds mom to come for 4 hours on Tuesday to visit him.
It's a wonder that when given the opportunity to have just hubby, the kids, and I alone I relish it, despite the extra work for us it may cause. Of course the have such a well oiled routine that having "help" isn't really a help, it's more just a job I can offer my friend.
Generally I am a private person and don't like to share a lot with people, especially the private sanctum that is our home. My point, I'm seriously thinking that our Foster care days may be numbered once we finalize and finish up with Spuds case...
I guess we shall see.
We get a lot of home based services for our kids. Speech, physical therapy, vision therapy, and nursing. Add to that the constant meetings with case workers and other team members for these kiddos and there are more people in and out of our house. Next week we start allowing Spuds mom to come for 4 hours on Tuesday to visit him.
It's a wonder that when given the opportunity to have just hubby, the kids, and I alone I relish it, despite the extra work for us it may cause. Of course the have such a well oiled routine that having "help" isn't really a help, it's more just a job I can offer my friend.
Generally I am a private person and don't like to share a lot with people, especially the private sanctum that is our home. My point, I'm seriously thinking that our Foster care days may be numbered once we finalize and finish up with Spuds case...
I guess we shall see.
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Bump
First bump in the road to adoption of S. Today the case worker received a call from a bio-relative on Mom's side. So early in the process but what that means is that this could get ugly.
First they have to do a homestudy and background check of that family member and see if they clear. Then there are all the medical issues of S to address.
Hopefully this isn't someone just popping in to see if there is anything there for them. I don't even want to think about the alternative to losing her too... but such is the nature of this beast!
Good news is that we received the call today about finally starting the paperwork for renewing our adoption certification. Lots of paperwork to gather, a few meetings, and then the stack of papers moved over to awaiting signature by the judge. 4-5 month process. Hopefully it'll move quicker and maybe we can get a quick adoption date after that. Right now a double adoption would be ideal... but I'll settle for finalizing Mr D since we've been waiting nearly two years already.
First they have to do a homestudy and background check of that family member and see if they clear. Then there are all the medical issues of S to address.
Hopefully this isn't someone just popping in to see if there is anything there for them. I don't even want to think about the alternative to losing her too... but such is the nature of this beast!
Good news is that we received the call today about finally starting the paperwork for renewing our adoption certification. Lots of paperwork to gather, a few meetings, and then the stack of papers moved over to awaiting signature by the judge. 4-5 month process. Hopefully it'll move quicker and maybe we can get a quick adoption date after that. Right now a double adoption would be ideal... but I'll settle for finalizing Mr D since we've been waiting nearly two years already.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Look what these babies can do...
It's a been a very busy week or so here. Each baby has turned a month older and with that came some advancing of their milestones.
S can sit independently... at 14 months old she is at a 6 month developmental age, her adjusted age is 10 months old. She says Baba,Mama,Dada,& Nana. She does not use any of those for anything other than babble. She's very social and has stranger anxiety. She's still not taking any food by mouth and is only 16 pounds. We did find out that she is tongue tied so maybe that has something to do with her feeding issues. We shall have to see I guess. Her case: She is free... we are just awaiting the adoption referral.
Spud can actually sit in his blue chair and has initiated play for the first time. Developmentally he is sitting at a 2.5 month old and age adjusted is 4 months, he's 8 months old. He coos and echos vowel sounds and smiles a lot. He's down from .4L of O2 to .1L Yay! He can take about 2 oz of formula by mouth, but tires out pretty quickly and usually has to break that up in 1 oz feeds between naps. He is pretty much just taking the bottle from me right now though, so that's a bit frustrating. He weighs in at a whopping 15.8ish pounds, but I'm thinking that at his next appointment he'll probably blow that away. Most excitedly, he sleeps all night long from 8p to 7am in his own crib! His case Court is on the 28th but it's just an update of the case. BM hasn't done anything with regard to her case. She has an appointment yesterday, don't know if she made it or not, but that could add extra time. Right now it's so so early in the case that she has a ton of time to get her stuff together and get him back. Of course he's now in a concurrent plan which is Reunification/Adoption by foster parents.
D is coming along so much. He's standing so much more now and sitting like a champ. He's still only 20 pounds and only says Mama, Nine, and No. He signs yes, more, play, music, eat, and drink. He asks for things like More eat, More Play Pattycake, or More music. He can even answer yes and no questions appropriately. I'm a little concerned right now about some swollen lymph nodes I found on him, so he has some follow-up appointments for that. He can throw a temper tantrum like no ones business and has learned some new tricks for them like thrashing his head back and forth, banging his head on his chair, exersaucer, or walker. He can and likes to feed himself over being fed. He loves food and tastes everything. He still prefers soft food textures of baby foods over some table foods, but pizza and baby cheese puffs have become his favorite foods. His case Has been adoption all along and since he's been free for awhile now we are just waiting to complete our updated homestudy and get an adoption date. We are hoping at this point that it's a double adoption with S. Can I just say that I hate waiting for people to do their jobs so I can get my part accomplished. Today I completed the subsidy packet and am just now awaiting all the medical update letters from all of his physicians.
Emily is in Kindergarten! Wow full day 5 days a week. She's having adjustment issues for sure. Nursing changes and all these new people have made for many a meltdown. So glad it is easy to corral her during a fit. She gets a new wheelchair next week, she's healing very well from her last hand surgery, and is growing leaps and bounds with her ability to use her previously affected stroke side hand, she used to have total neglect of it. She's such a big girl now and even her tastes in movies, her favorite things, have changed. No longer will she tolerate baby shows, she's a big girl now and B@rbie Dancing has become one of her favorite things. We are actually looking into a Special Needs Dance class or cheer team that we have heard about for her to try. But we really need to get her a stander/walker so that she can really enjoy the other kids. She loved watching and interacting with kids her age, typical kids make her laugh.
She is not a fan of her picture being taken.
S can sit independently... at 14 months old she is at a 6 month developmental age, her adjusted age is 10 months old. She says Baba,Mama,Dada,& Nana. She does not use any of those for anything other than babble. She's very social and has stranger anxiety. She's still not taking any food by mouth and is only 16 pounds. We did find out that she is tongue tied so maybe that has something to do with her feeding issues. We shall have to see I guess. Her case: She is free... we are just awaiting the adoption referral.
Spud can actually sit in his blue chair and has initiated play for the first time. Developmentally he is sitting at a 2.5 month old and age adjusted is 4 months, he's 8 months old. He coos and echos vowel sounds and smiles a lot. He's down from .4L of O2 to .1L Yay! He can take about 2 oz of formula by mouth, but tires out pretty quickly and usually has to break that up in 1 oz feeds between naps. He is pretty much just taking the bottle from me right now though, so that's a bit frustrating. He weighs in at a whopping 15.8ish pounds, but I'm thinking that at his next appointment he'll probably blow that away. Most excitedly, he sleeps all night long from 8p to 7am in his own crib! His case Court is on the 28th but it's just an update of the case. BM hasn't done anything with regard to her case. She has an appointment yesterday, don't know if she made it or not, but that could add extra time. Right now it's so so early in the case that she has a ton of time to get her stuff together and get him back. Of course he's now in a concurrent plan which is Reunification/Adoption by foster parents.
D is coming along so much. He's standing so much more now and sitting like a champ. He's still only 20 pounds and only says Mama, Nine, and No. He signs yes, more, play, music, eat, and drink. He asks for things like More eat, More Play Pattycake, or More music. He can even answer yes and no questions appropriately. I'm a little concerned right now about some swollen lymph nodes I found on him, so he has some follow-up appointments for that. He can throw a temper tantrum like no ones business and has learned some new tricks for them like thrashing his head back and forth, banging his head on his chair, exersaucer, or walker. He can and likes to feed himself over being fed. He loves food and tastes everything. He still prefers soft food textures of baby foods over some table foods, but pizza and baby cheese puffs have become his favorite foods. His case Has been adoption all along and since he's been free for awhile now we are just waiting to complete our updated homestudy and get an adoption date. We are hoping at this point that it's a double adoption with S. Can I just say that I hate waiting for people to do their jobs so I can get my part accomplished. Today I completed the subsidy packet and am just now awaiting all the medical update letters from all of his physicians.
Emily is in Kindergarten! Wow full day 5 days a week. She's having adjustment issues for sure. Nursing changes and all these new people have made for many a meltdown. So glad it is easy to corral her during a fit. She gets a new wheelchair next week, she's healing very well from her last hand surgery, and is growing leaps and bounds with her ability to use her previously affected stroke side hand, she used to have total neglect of it. She's such a big girl now and even her tastes in movies, her favorite things, have changed. No longer will she tolerate baby shows, she's a big girl now and B@rbie Dancing has become one of her favorite things. We are actually looking into a Special Needs Dance class or cheer team that we have heard about for her to try. But we really need to get her a stander/walker so that she can really enjoy the other kids. She loved watching and interacting with kids her age, typical kids make her laugh.
She is not a fan of her picture being taken.
Friday, August 14, 2015
Misorder and Law
To say I was shocked about the trial and the subsequent outcome was saying it mildly. The day started as any other but the facts of the case, the age and gender of the child should have been enough for any judge to make a ruling immediately. The CPS worker thought it'd take a while for the judge to rule. It didn't she ruled from the bench. Course that doesn't mean that he can't contest, he still can appeal the decision... but no one in their right mind would grant him more time. Beside the outrageous claims that were made against him for the other case pending the interaction between him and his lawyer overheard before the trial was comical to say the least.
Lawyer " Do you want to go ahead with the trial?"
BD " Yes."
Lawyer " Ok so I will ask you some questions about your daughter, about you, and about how you have been working your case."
BD " Questions like what?"
Lawyer " Simple things like her birthdate, her medical conditions, about the allegations in the other case."
BD " I don't know any of the answers to that."
Lawyer " Do you still want to go ahead with the trial?"
BD "Yeah, I said I did."
I think I saw the lawyer shaking his head as he was walking back into the court room. Later during an unexpected recess the CPS worker told me she would be the only one testifying today.
During cross exam of the CPS worker BD lawyer asked 4 questions:
Lawyer " Why do you not think that he has a relationship or a bond with his daughter. Have you seen him with her?"
CPS "No Because he hasn't seen her in 7 months, because she hasn't spent any significant time with him, and because he could not even recogize her in a picture that foster parent showed. His first response when she showed him the picture was to deny that it was his child. There were no other children in the picture."
Lawyer " And you think that the child is bonded with the foster parents?"
CPS " Yes I do. They have been caring for her for over 7 months. She sees them daily. They meet all of her needs. When a stranger approaches her she looks to them prior to engaging with other to make sure its ok. She is comforted by them"
Lawyer " You said my client lives in a shelter. Don't they allow children there?"
CPS " I do not know."
Lawyer " Defense rests"
At which time the AG redirected the CPS worker.
AG " Do you think a child that is medically fragile is best served living in a mens homeless shelter?"
CPS " No I do not."
Another comical moment came during the cross examination of the CPS worker from BM attorney...
Lawyer" Do you know where my client is?"
CPS " No I do not."
Lawyer "When was the last attempt to find her?"
CPS " Last we had contact with her was January. I am not sure of the last date exactly of the parent location report was done, but usually a few months."
Lawyer " Mother side rests"
At the end the father asked for more time... time for what?
Lawyer " Do you want to go ahead with the trial?"
BD " Yes."
Lawyer " Ok so I will ask you some questions about your daughter, about you, and about how you have been working your case."
BD " Questions like what?"
Lawyer " Simple things like her birthdate, her medical conditions, about the allegations in the other case."
BD " I don't know any of the answers to that."
Lawyer " Do you still want to go ahead with the trial?"
BD "Yeah, I said I did."
I think I saw the lawyer shaking his head as he was walking back into the court room. Later during an unexpected recess the CPS worker told me she would be the only one testifying today.
During cross exam of the CPS worker BD lawyer asked 4 questions:
Lawyer " Why do you not think that he has a relationship or a bond with his daughter. Have you seen him with her?"
CPS "No Because he hasn't seen her in 7 months, because she hasn't spent any significant time with him, and because he could not even recogize her in a picture that foster parent showed. His first response when she showed him the picture was to deny that it was his child. There were no other children in the picture."
Lawyer " And you think that the child is bonded with the foster parents?"
CPS " Yes I do. They have been caring for her for over 7 months. She sees them daily. They meet all of her needs. When a stranger approaches her she looks to them prior to engaging with other to make sure its ok. She is comforted by them"
Lawyer " You said my client lives in a shelter. Don't they allow children there?"
CPS " I do not know."
Lawyer " Defense rests"
At which time the AG redirected the CPS worker.
AG " Do you think a child that is medically fragile is best served living in a mens homeless shelter?"
CPS " No I do not."
Another comical moment came during the cross examination of the CPS worker from BM attorney...
Lawyer" Do you know where my client is?"
CPS " No I do not."
Lawyer "When was the last attempt to find her?"
CPS " Last we had contact with her was January. I am not sure of the last date exactly of the parent location report was done, but usually a few months."
Lawyer " Mother side rests"
At the end the father asked for more time... time for what?
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
A Balancing Act
Besides from keeping track of medication administration forms for three, doctors appointment forms for three, and goal sheets for three. We have to keep track of CPS worker visits for three, DDD workers for 4, Licensing worker for us. Not to mention multiple doctor appointments, parent visits if they happen or don't happen, and of course therapy for all the kids. Plus the always last minute GAL pop ins prior to court and the needy CASA volunteers who mean well, but don't grasp the concept of exactly how much in a day needs to be juggled to fit in one more visit with someone who seriously at this point can only hold the baby for an hour and disrupt the flow of our very scheduled day.
So anyway, if it doesn't go into the Calendar then it didn't or doesn't happen. It's our family brain, and I can tell you that without it, I'd forget it even happened.
This month
The days fill in quickly and I have a system for keeping it all straight. This I can blame on my nursing background. Though I hate charting, we also have binders that are go to books for each child. If they go to an appointment it goes with them. Each has their name and picture on it. It's organized and it helps so that we can find answers to questions the multitude of people above will ask for.
It's not easy and I try and keep everyone on a pretty strict schedule, even with all the interruptions to save sanity. I have to return to work soon, but I am hoping that I have managed to get the chaotic world of three babies and a medically complex 5 year old under control enough to not sink the ship.
So anyway, if it doesn't go into the Calendar then it didn't or doesn't happen. It's our family brain, and I can tell you that without it, I'd forget it even happened.
This month
The days fill in quickly and I have a system for keeping it all straight. This I can blame on my nursing background. Though I hate charting, we also have binders that are go to books for each child. If they go to an appointment it goes with them. Each has their name and picture on it. It's organized and it helps so that we can find answers to questions the multitude of people above will ask for.
It's not easy and I try and keep everyone on a pretty strict schedule, even with all the interruptions to save sanity. I have to return to work soon, but I am hoping that I have managed to get the chaotic world of three babies and a medically complex 5 year old under control enough to not sink the ship.
Monday, August 10, 2015
In December...
The magic number will be 1... as in we will actually have three one year old in the house! Can you imagine and they are not even related. At one point in time when I was taking fertility medications I thought, wow we could have multiple birth taking this... never did I think that I'd have this route to parenthood. Its hard, but it's worth it all at the same time.
D's adoption packet came and is nearing completion. We have a lot of doctors to contact to get their portion filled out. Tomorrow I have to email the adoption worker and make sure that she emailed our referral to the Homestudy coordinator at the other agency, as that is the only thing that we are waiting for to get done. Once we have that we can get an adoption date. To say I am antsy is an understatement... I want him mine now!
So as promissed her is a bit about what is going on with S. There is court on Wednesday... her birth father, the only parent who's been "in" the picture in a year, had requested visits and custody at the last court hearing. He hadn't seen her or tried to see her since February. So we set up with the Case Manager the dates that we could do a visit. We couldn't get into the Visiting Center because they changed their rules. He doesn't have a parent aide, because he lost that right in March. So next best thing, she had three upcoming doctor appointments. He could attend those. Of course if he really wants to parent her he needs to attend and make sure that he can get to doctor's appointments. He has no car, he has no home. So Case Manager gave him a bus pass for the close appointments and sent a cab for him for the farther appointment. He showed up late and missed the doctor appointment for the first one and spent less than 15 minutes "with" her. He asked a few questions, bought her a teddy bear and looked at her three or four times. Hubby then explained to him the importance of her doctor appointments and getting there on time and a little about exactly what is going on with her and her needs. Second appointment, no show. Third appointment, the cab went to the address that he gave the Case Manager at the last court appearance and guess who they can't find? Severance trial is on Wednesday.... please please please do this kid a favor dude and stay the heck in your crack den!
D's adoption packet came and is nearing completion. We have a lot of doctors to contact to get their portion filled out. Tomorrow I have to email the adoption worker and make sure that she emailed our referral to the Homestudy coordinator at the other agency, as that is the only thing that we are waiting for to get done. Once we have that we can get an adoption date. To say I am antsy is an understatement... I want him mine now!
So as promissed her is a bit about what is going on with S. There is court on Wednesday... her birth father, the only parent who's been "in" the picture in a year, had requested visits and custody at the last court hearing. He hadn't seen her or tried to see her since February. So we set up with the Case Manager the dates that we could do a visit. We couldn't get into the Visiting Center because they changed their rules. He doesn't have a parent aide, because he lost that right in March. So next best thing, she had three upcoming doctor appointments. He could attend those. Of course if he really wants to parent her he needs to attend and make sure that he can get to doctor's appointments. He has no car, he has no home. So Case Manager gave him a bus pass for the close appointments and sent a cab for him for the farther appointment. He showed up late and missed the doctor appointment for the first one and spent less than 15 minutes "with" her. He asked a few questions, bought her a teddy bear and looked at her three or four times. Hubby then explained to him the importance of her doctor appointments and getting there on time and a little about exactly what is going on with her and her needs. Second appointment, no show. Third appointment, the cab went to the address that he gave the Case Manager at the last court appearance and guess who they can't find? Severance trial is on Wednesday.... please please please do this kid a favor dude and stay the heck in your crack den!
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Spud
So Spud is 8 months old... still acts like a two month old. Has become very vocal and has even started taking a bottle now and then. The bottle part is a battle as he does the gagging thing that S did, S is still not eating (her post to come). He sleeps in his own room now, which is decorated with a Monkey theme. 
Anyway Spud is in fact going to be a big brother. Spud's Mom on the other hand is doing everything she can to get him back... oh wait, yeah she just says she is. Two visits totalling 40 minutes...since May. Yeah since May. She has missed her intake for a Parent Aide (meaning more visits) twice, no call no shows. She over sleeps or my favorite, "Oh I should really start keeping track of his appointments now." I'd say I was surprised but I am not. I know its early in the case so I am still hopeful that maybe she will get her crap together... but as the new baby's birth gets closer I find it harder and harder to believe that it will.
He does have a CASA worker now, which is just someone who sees him and tries to work with him and his mother to give them extra support. Its supposed to be a best interest of the baby and only the baby person. She comes and acts like a Grandma... it's cool. I ask her to come during his cranky, please just hold me and only me time.
Anyway Spud is in fact going to be a big brother. Spud's Mom on the other hand is doing everything she can to get him back... oh wait, yeah she just says she is. Two visits totalling 40 minutes...since May. Yeah since May. She has missed her intake for a Parent Aide (meaning more visits) twice, no call no shows. She over sleeps or my favorite, "Oh I should really start keeping track of his appointments now." I'd say I was surprised but I am not. I know its early in the case so I am still hopeful that maybe she will get her crap together... but as the new baby's birth gets closer I find it harder and harder to believe that it will.
He does have a CASA worker now, which is just someone who sees him and tries to work with him and his mother to give them extra support. Its supposed to be a best interest of the baby and only the baby person. She comes and acts like a Grandma... it's cool. I ask her to come during his cranky, please just hold me and only me time.
Now I Know
So sorry. I don't post more on here. I do this mainly for me as a reminder of where we were and how our story unfolds. The problem is that I don't get much time to sit down at the computer and the i products just suck for blog posts.
So much is going on.... I usually think I should blog about this or that, but never manage to get over to the computer.
Emily is about to start kindergarten. She had her second arm lengthening surgery. Her day nurse she's had for two years may not be her day nurse anymore. The school mentioned contracting with another agency, but no way in hell am I just going to let some random nurse just "take her" and not know anything about her. Nursing needs care plans and orders and needs report in order to carefor a child with medical needs like a trach, frequent suctioning, temper tantrums that turn her lie and freak people out, the cast on her arm, her proclivity for shutting down with new people, biting her lip and making it bleed when she's anxious.... The list goes on and on....
So much is going on.... I usually think I should blog about this or that, but never manage to get over to the computer.
Emily is about to start kindergarten. She had her second arm lengthening surgery. Her day nurse she's had for two years may not be her day nurse anymore. The school mentioned contracting with another agency, but no way in hell am I just going to let some random nurse just "take her" and not know anything about her. Nursing needs care plans and orders and needs report in order to carefor a child with medical needs like a trach, frequent suctioning, temper tantrums that turn her lie and freak people out, the cast on her arm, her proclivity for shutting down with new people, biting her lip and making it bleed when she's anxious.... The list goes on and on....
Big things
Today we received the adoption packet for D. We are hoping to get a court date within the next 4 months. All depends on how fast they can get our homestudy completed, good thing we just renewed our foster license so that way they can get everything from there. Hoping that will have everything they need to prove and they can just submit to the courts within a few weeks. The worker said that she'd had some come back after three weeks and some come back past the 60 days.... fingers crossed!
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Quick update
As I don't have a ton of time... I'm being beckoned in the back ground to the sounds of my 18 month old..."Mummumma...Mummumma..." :-) Anyway today was court for two kiddos. Mr D who was finally set free, pending the 15 day appeal-which will be denied, and Miss S, which ended in trial dates confirmed because delusional biodad reappears after 6 months to request visits and custody and to contest the severance.
Trial is Aug 12th... so at least there is that. Now we just have to update our adoption homestudy and get this going to make Mr. D an offical member of our family!!!
I seriously almost cried when I heard the words severed. Its been such a long emotional journey.
Trial is Aug 12th... so at least there is that. Now we just have to update our adoption homestudy and get this going to make Mr. D an offical member of our family!!!
I seriously almost cried when I heard the words severed. Its been such a long emotional journey.
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Too little to be big
Spud who is not even 7 months old apparently will hold the title of big brother in what appears to be 4-5 months.... According to BM page and obvious baby bump... She reports to be able to tell gender of said bump in a week or so.
SMH
SMH
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Sorry so long since my last update
but there have been a lot of things going on... not all of them good... so I will update soon... we do have some good things in the works...
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Triplets six months apart?
Who else had babies 6 months apart except us? Emily is the odd man out but she's seemed to show more interest in seeing what is going on in her world around her and being more social as the babies discover the same thing.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
The call...
We received the call today for a little guy to come and stay with us for awhile. I have no idea about where this will go or if this Mamma has the support and parenting skills she will need to parent him. He's a preemie and being released for the first time from the hospital on Thursday. The concern was that the mother showed no bonding and no concern over him during his stay. Of course this may change after he is discharged and he seems more like a baby than a science experiment to her. What we do know is that he has a feeding tube, oxygen needs, and takes meds to prevent seizures. He's 5 months old and 10 pounds born at 23 weeks 1lb 3oz. Sounds like Miss S actually.
Discharge is Thursday as long as we feel comfortable taking him home and we have "trained" on his needs, and of course all of his supplies get delivered... course we have extra everything here. LOL Yeah training... gotta love it. But I understand where they are coming from... it can be very overwhelming for some people all the equipment... but for us... it's what we do.
I'm meeting him in the NICU tomorrow morning.
PS We call him SPUD- cuz seriously he looks like a baked potato.
Discharge is Thursday as long as we feel comfortable taking him home and we have "trained" on his needs, and of course all of his supplies get delivered... course we have extra everything here. LOL Yeah training... gotta love it. But I understand where they are coming from... it can be very overwhelming for some people all the equipment... but for us... it's what we do.
I'm meeting him in the NICU tomorrow morning.
PS We call him SPUD- cuz seriously he looks like a baked potato.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Short timer
Miss A was here 4 nights. Our shortest visitor yet and coincidentally the shortest time between going on the open beds list and getting a call for a placement, two hours.
She was adorable,3, and would have been a perfect fit for our current family dynamic.
But alas such is the burden of foster care, they needed an actual case to remove the child, which they did not have. Glad for her that the system actually worked the way it is supposed to and hoping the family learned from their wake up call. But then again....I'm not even sure they didn anything wrong, beyond not agreeing with the opinion of a doctor.
Ps soooo glad I was able to talk my hubby out of running right down to the store and buying another crib when she came....let me tell you that was a hard sell for him, he loves to shop. But I just had a feeling about this case.
She was adorable,3, and would have been a perfect fit for our current family dynamic.
But alas such is the burden of foster care, they needed an actual case to remove the child, which they did not have. Glad for her that the system actually worked the way it is supposed to and hoping the family learned from their wake up call. But then again....I'm not even sure they didn anything wrong, beyond not agreeing with the opinion of a doctor.
Ps soooo glad I was able to talk my hubby out of running right down to the store and buying another crib when she came....let me tell you that was a hard sell for him, he loves to shop. But I just had a feeling about this case.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
How fast do things change around here?
Things happen here daily that change the course of things or that surprise yet don't surprise you. DCS (CPS) visits happened today. S's case worker was first. Court is May 1. At last court date Dad said he did not want to be a party to the case and wanted to sign rights away... so he called yesterday and said he'd changed his mind. DCS said he has to now wait till court date to have judge order services again, course they think that he's just a drop in and really only wants the right to see her once in awhile. So continuing on, ya just never know with foster care until you get your severance and adoption date.
D's biomom was doing very well. Nearly finished with Rehab, learning to care for him, and visiting regularly on Saturdays, of course she forgot a few times, but still came. Today we received a call that she is AWOL from Rehab. So now she can no longer visit at our house and she has to start all over again if she tests positive. Is it freaking January yet?
D's biomom was doing very well. Nearly finished with Rehab, learning to care for him, and visiting regularly on Saturdays, of course she forgot a few times, but still came. Today we received a call that she is AWOL from Rehab. So now she can no longer visit at our house and she has to start all over again if she tests positive. Is it freaking January yet?
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Movements
So Mr C has found another placement better suited to his needs. Unfortunately it's another group home, but truthfully it's where he feels more comfortable and honestly his future adoptive home is very group home similar so it'll fit him.
I'm sad and conflicted as I wish it had worked out, but I know it's for the best on all fronts.
He leaves on Saturday.
I think we should either say status quo for the summer... Or only agree to another baby as a next placement. So time will tell I guess.
I'm sad and conflicted as I wish it had worked out, but I know it's for the best on all fronts.
He leaves on Saturday.
I think we should either say status quo for the summer... Or only agree to another baby as a next placement. So time will tell I guess.
Friday, March 27, 2015
12-14 Reasons Why...
We may not get to adopt S afterall. Today I found out she has 12-14 other siblings. She's Mom's 10th pregnancy and Dad has 4 other children. Apparently BM has children in groups and her family is raising those other 7-9 children. She does not have any of them. There is no doubt that the case is going to go to and achieve severance. BM's last severance was a year ago. However, the tricky part is that there are siblings and family that could come forward to claim her. The saving grace is that she is high medical needs and not just anyone can pop up and become an acceptable placement family or not, but it is more likely of course.
Now 1 set of siblings lives with Maternal grandma.... BM is older than me... those children are 12-14. The other set lives with Paternal Aunt, not biodad of Miss S, the youngest of which is 5.
The of course biodad, those who has agreed to sign his rights away, still has family that could request to be placed with the baby.
So there's that to consider now as we move towards April and then June. We have to have another whole adoption home study and everything done since ours has expired now too.
Now 1 set of siblings lives with Maternal grandma.... BM is older than me... those children are 12-14. The other set lives with Paternal Aunt, not biodad of Miss S, the youngest of which is 5.
The of course biodad, those who has agreed to sign his rights away, still has family that could request to be placed with the baby.
So there's that to consider now as we move towards April and then June. We have to have another whole adoption home study and everything done since ours has expired now too.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Case Updates
Today was court for D and the biodad's rights were severed. Next court date for trial for severance for mom,...January! Seriously. April pretrial for Miss S, but if the AG files the paper correctly, and if bioday signs and biomom doesn't show... we could be adopting her sooner than D... if we get to adopt D at all by that point, a lot can happen in what 9 months! Next week we will have gad him for 1 year. Technically Miss S needs to be with us for 6 months before we could get an adoption date for her, which will be in June.
We have asked to have Mr C moved, but he's still here. His school is driving me nuts. The kid has gained a lot of weight and finding clothes to fit a short fat kid is hard. I think the school is over feeding him too.
Emily is in the PICU again this time with RSV and some how Strep, which hubby and I both have as well Everyone else has boogers :-)
We have asked to have Mr C moved, but he's still here. His school is driving me nuts. The kid has gained a lot of weight and finding clothes to fit a short fat kid is hard. I think the school is over feeding him too.
Emily is in the PICU again this time with RSV and some how Strep, which hubby and I both have as well Everyone else has boogers :-)
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Not expected, but kinda expected
Yesterday the CM for Miss Baby S came and said that in April they are moving to severance and that the biodad states he is not contesting, biomom is still mia, so they have her as abandoned. They asked if we wanted to be her adoptive placement. Of course we said yes.
Next week is the pre-trial for severance for Mr. D, his Biomom is contesting, so doesn't look like this will go well. Of course she is doing the bare minimum she has to, I really hope the judges see through her bs and see that his needs and best interests are not with her, heck two weeks in a row she forgot to confirm her visit with her parent aide, who she has to confirm with or there is no visit, because she just had so many things on her mind,aka she forgot all about her son.
Next week is the pre-trial for severance for Mr. D, his Biomom is contesting, so doesn't look like this will go well. Of course she is doing the bare minimum she has to, I really hope the judges see through her bs and see that his needs and best interests are not with her, heck two weeks in a row she forgot to confirm her visit with her parent aide, who she has to confirm with or there is no visit, because she just had so many things on her mind,aka she forgot all about her son.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Just doesn't mix
With us we have realized you just can not mix a teenager with babies.... especially if you are starting all over in the parenting game. Most especially if that teenager has Bipolar and PTSD diagnosis you are just now learning about!
Seriously, I'd rather take another drug weaning baby than a teenager with behaviors and a cognitive delay.
Officially gave the request to have him moved... course they now have 30 days to do so... so another month of this utter stress!
Seriously, I'd rather take another drug weaning baby than a teenager with behaviors and a cognitive delay.
Officially gave the request to have him moved... course they now have 30 days to do so... so another month of this utter stress!
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
The whiplash effects
(BTW.. this post is old) Today I have to attend a visit with D's birth Mom. She reappeared after 6 months. Went into Rehab and has requested visits and to "work her plan". Is this a last ditch attempt, or is this the beginning of yet another chance for her? The case plan says adoption, but that doesn't mean anything. I have so many hard feelings about this case already. I mean we've already had the "I" situation failure and that should have been a sure thing. Now since the AG mess up we've got to drag even more.
This system is so broken down it's crazy!
Mom spent to whole time tell me about her new round of therapy which is to be in a halfway house for two years...expecting D is wait around for her, just in case she manages to stick to something that long, I mean her other three kids couldn't make her, but hey... they have to give her a chance right, doesn't matter that he'll be 3 and in care since birth!
CPS thinks that because she is not effectively able to recover and parent a child like D that the new judge will do what is best for him. Mediation went no where as expected, since she still blames everyone else for her problems.
In the meantime he is growing and thriving and making awesome strides towards being a toddler.
This system is so broken down it's crazy!
Mom spent to whole time tell me about her new round of therapy which is to be in a halfway house for two years...expecting D is wait around for her, just in case she manages to stick to something that long, I mean her other three kids couldn't make her, but hey... they have to give her a chance right, doesn't matter that he'll be 3 and in care since birth!
CPS thinks that because she is not effectively able to recover and parent a child like D that the new judge will do what is best for him. Mediation went no where as expected, since she still blames everyone else for her problems.
In the meantime he is growing and thriving and making awesome strides towards being a toddler.
Behavior City
Mr. C is full of them and most of them are aggressive and destructive. At this time we are trying to work with the team to get some services in place to help, or to find him another placement. Supposedly there has been a vendor call placed out to find one, since his interstate change of custody is going to take another 6 months or so if we are lucky.
It's hard trying to deal with a raging 14 year old who acts like a 3 year old. Especially since this is a stopping ground for him and he knows it.
We shall see what happens over the next few weeks.
It's hard trying to deal with a raging 14 year old who acts like a 3 year old. Especially since this is a stopping ground for him and he knows it.
We shall see what happens over the next few weeks.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Warning- Resentful Vent Post
Yup thats me, I'm resentful. I resent having to work 40 hours in three days to come home and the dishes are days old piled high in the sink. I'mn resentful that when I get up I have to make dinner for everyone, because the person who should be doing it is playing a video game, or on the cell phone, or watching something on tv, while the kids entertain themselves. I'm resentful and overwhelmed with the amount of energy I don't have, but by the amount of work there is always to do.
Yes I give props for being awesome at taking the kids to the doctors, setting up feeding pumps, changing diapers (less frequently then should be done), and doing a few halfass bedtime routines a few times a week. But I'm resentful of your version of "busted my ass cleaning all day", when all you did was sweep and mop the floors, yet there are piles of laundry,the bathrooms are gross, and every surface is cluttered, dusty, and covered in dirty fingerprints or dog hair... but you busted your ass all day cleaning.
I'm resentful that the paperwork is all left to me, but the spending of the money is all left to him. He doesn't even know how much it is, and how far it should go because he spends and spends and spends and doesn't account for it.... yes one more thing for me to do.
I've tried hiring a Nanny to help out, only to find that extra help turns into extra headaches and less getting done. Teaching someone to do something half-assed doesn't help. I've recently hired a friend to help out on the nights that I am working so that he can get some sleep. Of course then he stays up late watching the tv, playing video games or on the cell phone too.
I'm resentful that there are two other adults in this house who take, take, and take some more. I don't consider holding a baby, while I give another a bath, or watching two children who entertain themselves for a hour every once in a while rendered payment for my utter and total support. I am resentful that a grown man isn't acting like a man at all and has also stopped contributing to the household, but hasn't stopped eating me out of house and home, or using my car and taking money from my daughter.
And yes I am resentful that I have had to put school on hold because I have no time for anything, as a matter of fact I am writing this post after a 13.5 hour shift and on ZERO sleep, after doing said dishes, doing feeding therapy with two babies, then administering late meds, breathing treatments and getting dinner ready to cook.
I am so resentful infact that I contemplate daily throwing in the towel altogether. Right now the only thing I am waiting on is the outcome of Mr. D's case. I am pretty sure that if we get to adopt him we are moving into a smaller place and quitting foster care and someone is going to have to get a part-time job. If we don't get to adopt him... I am moving to a smaller place and walking away from it all. :-(
Yes I give props for being awesome at taking the kids to the doctors, setting up feeding pumps, changing diapers (less frequently then should be done), and doing a few halfass bedtime routines a few times a week. But I'm resentful of your version of "busted my ass cleaning all day", when all you did was sweep and mop the floors, yet there are piles of laundry,the bathrooms are gross, and every surface is cluttered, dusty, and covered in dirty fingerprints or dog hair... but you busted your ass all day cleaning.
I'm resentful that the paperwork is all left to me, but the spending of the money is all left to him. He doesn't even know how much it is, and how far it should go because he spends and spends and spends and doesn't account for it.... yes one more thing for me to do.
I've tried hiring a Nanny to help out, only to find that extra help turns into extra headaches and less getting done. Teaching someone to do something half-assed doesn't help. I've recently hired a friend to help out on the nights that I am working so that he can get some sleep. Of course then he stays up late watching the tv, playing video games or on the cell phone too.
I'm resentful that there are two other adults in this house who take, take, and take some more. I don't consider holding a baby, while I give another a bath, or watching two children who entertain themselves for a hour every once in a while rendered payment for my utter and total support. I am resentful that a grown man isn't acting like a man at all and has also stopped contributing to the household, but hasn't stopped eating me out of house and home, or using my car and taking money from my daughter.
And yes I am resentful that I have had to put school on hold because I have no time for anything, as a matter of fact I am writing this post after a 13.5 hour shift and on ZERO sleep, after doing said dishes, doing feeding therapy with two babies, then administering late meds, breathing treatments and getting dinner ready to cook.
I am so resentful infact that I contemplate daily throwing in the towel altogether. Right now the only thing I am waiting on is the outcome of Mr. D's case. I am pretty sure that if we get to adopt him we are moving into a smaller place and quitting foster care and someone is going to have to get a part-time job. If we don't get to adopt him... I am moving to a smaller place and walking away from it all. :-(
Sunday, January 18, 2015
The haps
Well D's next court date is March 24th... that'll be a few days before his one year anniversary of being with us. In the meantime we continue to do visits and see where things go.
Mr C hopefully will be moving on in March, but at his CFT meeting yesterday they said it could be May at this point, unless they can get the judge to sign off on an early transfer once they receive the interstate contract they are waiting on. He's been increasing his behaviors as this drags out. I think he's starting to wonder if this is going to be another let down, he doesn't have the cognitive understanding to get that it's all about waiting for paperwork now.... but then again what kid does?
Little Miss S is a cutie but a handful. If her hands are free in 1 second flat she can pull out her NGT and O2 and set all of her alarms off. We haven't heard anything about her case plan at this point. Haven't settled into anything with her yet as everything is still pending referrals etc. Hopefully she'll get some nursing to give hubby a break.
Emily is Emily and there isn't much different with her. She's doing well with her arm extender. We have a meeting in April for her plan for kindergarten and she has another nurse starting because her evening nurse needed better hours and wasn't really flexible enough to work the days we'd need her for.
So that's about it really... just waiting!
Mr C hopefully will be moving on in March, but at his CFT meeting yesterday they said it could be May at this point, unless they can get the judge to sign off on an early transfer once they receive the interstate contract they are waiting on. He's been increasing his behaviors as this drags out. I think he's starting to wonder if this is going to be another let down, he doesn't have the cognitive understanding to get that it's all about waiting for paperwork now.... but then again what kid does?
Little Miss S is a cutie but a handful. If her hands are free in 1 second flat she can pull out her NGT and O2 and set all of her alarms off. We haven't heard anything about her case plan at this point. Haven't settled into anything with her yet as everything is still pending referrals etc. Hopefully she'll get some nursing to give hubby a break.
Emily is Emily and there isn't much different with her. She's doing well with her arm extender. We have a meeting in April for her plan for kindergarten and she has another nurse starting because her evening nurse needed better hours and wasn't really flexible enough to work the days we'd need her for.
So that's about it really... just waiting!
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Attempt # 2 at Severance was a no go
Today the Bio's came to court and contested severance. I am an emotional wreck, but then again I know that due process must take place. Mediation is next phase, then trial. CPS wants to let them try and work their cases in the meantime. Makes sense, but it still sucks when we could have been severed back in November had the AG done his job correctly in the first place.... now we wait again and keep trucking along. This is the problem with foster care for sure, the heartbreaking moments.
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