Updates

The new CPS for N is actually pretty great so far. She is more inline with the other two we have so that is good. The father is still a big f'ing tool and really the ONLY reason at this point that we would like for N to be moved. We've settled and it's been easier getting her needs met. Our licensing agency emailed me the other day and said, "Do you want to keep N in your home until her aunt is ready or do you want to keep her permanently in your home?" I know she KNOWS we would NEVER keep her with her father the way he is. So I told her we would keep her as they work through whatever her case plan is and if they want to move her to the aunt when she is ready that is fine with me, but I don't think she should just be moved and moved and moved. Since she FINALLY starts school on Tuesday there is a bit of a break there! Woot! However, she has back slid a bit in her stomach issues and her behavior. I think maybe the Valproic Acid for her seizures may be the problem. She was off of it for two weeks and at that time she was a totally different and much better kid, now back on them... well sleepless nights, less smiles and more stomach issues.

Mr. D cut his first tooth yesterday! In 10 days he'll be 8 months old, but the little pooper grabbed my finger last night during his bath and OUCH! It was exciting for us all, it's just the tiniest part of the tooth sticking out at this point but it was sharp. His eye is healing and it's weird for me to see him with what appears to be a natural orb under his lid while closed. I am so used to it the other way after the past 5 months.

Miss E is still cruising through to Adoption, looks like it'll be in November and perhaps on National Adoption Day, our lawyer is the chair of the events here, but we are still trying to get a date sooner rather than later. Next week we have an appointment to see about hand surgery for her. She also started shaking her head no, I said no and she started shaking her head. It was cute, but since she already does the opposite of what you want her to do, because she thinks it's funny, well it's a double edged sword I guess. We also found out that the Nurse that we were trying to poach well E doesn't like her at all...she cries a lot and then she gives me the cold shoulder, I think it's because she actually talks to me a lot, whereas the other nurses are her slaves and spend every minute catering to her and I stole her friend. She holds a grudge.

Surgeries...

Little guy has surgery on Monday. It was our first together. I think we held up well. This is tough.

D#ggar Vent

Let me just preface this and say that I am a fan of the show and watch frequently and follow the goings on of the family. I am not going to comment on the recent, "issues" that are in the media, as in biblical followers have strong beliefs and they are welcome to their own thoughts. Yet I digress... it's a fertility thing...or lack there of that gets me.

The family practice of the Senior Mr and Mrs is to faithfully have as many children as God sees fit to give them. I get it. It's a good practice if you can live it and they could. BUT... then there was the preemie, then the stillborn, then the results that natural methods would probably not be effective any more for conception. OK so God has spoken then right?

Now I am hearing fertility treatments? There comes a time when Grandma needs to stop having babies! Let's rejoice in the new season of life that grandchildren are bringing into your family! Grandbabies need special attention too!

Course that is just my two cents and they don't matter, but if you tell the world that you live a philosophy and then don't actually live it, then well maybe I shouldn't really care what you think about Transgender people using the bathroom that they feel more comfortable in!

Workers

N is on her 3rd CPS Worker. Here's hoping this one gets something accomplished in a positive role. She should start school this week. Finally we have managed to chase down just enough information that she can start to attend and be evaluated for her IEP services.

Thanksgiving in August

Waiting for my mom to bring the turkey, but yes we are in fact having a mini turkey day today!

Milestones

When the 7 month old baby finally laughs out loud for real! When the 4 year old's trach is capped all day! When the baby reaches for toys that he's never played with before and "should be" out of sight! When the 4 year old says ,"Mamama" for the first time!

Priceless moments... that make all of the other stuff worth it!

Parental Issues

N's family is probably the worst possible family we could have gotten at this point. Seriously though, her CPS worker is the worst possible CPS worker we could have gotten with her too. A family that complains about everything and makes shit up when they can't think of anything else to complain about, coupled with a lazy CPS worker who doesn't want to supervise her own damn case.

What it equals is an investigation into us, for cat hair- seriously I kid you not. Plus her father pretty much just states that she is getting substandard care at our home, because we do not speak Spanish.

Well we bring her to doctors appointments- they did not. We follow doctor orders- they do not. We enrolled her into school- they did not. We help her gain weight - they did not. We brought her to the dentist- they did not ( she is going to loose ALL of her teeth!)

We have documented visits both announced and unannounced that show that she is taken care of, is "happy", she has her moments, she is actually even starting to interact with everyone here, and yesterday she even did a craft project with help. She had potential that they WASTED.

When hubby informed dad that she was going to school next week, his story from "the school wouldn't transport her, and the school kicked her out for sticking her fingers in her mouth" Turned into, she cries on the bus and cries all day in school.

Yes I can see that she would do that. She does not adapt well to change. She needs time to adjust, she needs consistency. Yes she freaks out daily about something, but she still should do it. Over time she will stop crying and start interacting with her surroundings.

We've seen it with us and now after 90 days here, she's changed so much from the first weeks she was here.

But alas she is a typical Rhett's girl and all the joys that come with that along with being misdiagnosed and neglected medically = N

Parenting a Special Needs Child Part two

Miss E as she is referred to in the social media world is our 4 year old. Her adoption is sooo close now. She has many many issues that with every doctors appointment we find out is more and more, yet daily she progresses and meets strides we never knew she could. She has many congenital birth defects. She has a tracheostomy which requires frequent suctioning... mostly because she produces so much spit. She puts everything in her mouth and is exploring so much now through oral exploration. Most kids who have never eaten usually have a severe oral aversion, she can't figure out how to swallow most days, but she sure likes to taste things. We are hoping with some feeding therapy that she may eventually learn to use her tongue and swallowing muscles to actually eat. The ENT thinks that she may even end up decannulated, trach out and close the stoma, when she is older. She was on a vent when she first came, now we can cap the trach and she tries to make sounds and can hold her o2 saturation up in the high 90's to the 100% range. She can't walk or sit on her own, but she stood the other day while I was taking her out of the feeding chair, the fact that she can use force to stand with support is amazing considering she has severe brain damage to her cerebellum.

However, she is a spunky, opinionated little girl who is not afraid to make her needs known. What once was an all Mickey Mouse Club watching marathon has been replaced with Max and Ruby, and she'll sign more and say what sounds like Mama, when she sees Max on screen. She seeks out new toys to play with and loves to "play" with other children, she to the gravitates older ones though. She is a fashionista little diva thanks to her Daddy.

Most of all she is loved and despite the 4 year old temper tantrums, she is so easy to care for. If it weren't for the frequent suctioning requirements you'd think she was a typical kid.

Parenting Special Needs Children Part one...

I feel like I never mention that our children are special needs kids. I guess it doesn't really matter to me, doesn't make things much different, except that they have a ton more doctors appointments on a regular basis. After parenting two typical and even advanced children, this is a whole new experience to me, but I love it.

But there are differences....D is almost 7 months old and is actively three months behind in development. If you took a 3-4 month old and put them together his chunky butt would be bigger, but they'd be closer in development than he'd be to a nearly 7 month old. He's blind of course so he doesn't have the curiosity factor to encourage normal locomotion. He only moves around now during a temper tantrum, and boy can he get around fast in his reverse combat crawl! He also spent the first three months of his life in leg casts and his GI issues made for a very cranky three months. Things like his eye fell out again, or can you put his eye back in, are routine sayings around our house. We've had to adapt to a "different" feeding style as he not only has a g-tube for his formula, but he has a cleft pallet. He will only take rice cereal with apples and bananas in it, WTG D! However, sometimes when he is too excited or during a very strong temper tantrum it comes out his nose. Beware if you are in his path as hubby found out, cuz he can shoot it pretty far.

Despite those things, we are constantly thinking up ways to encourage him to reach, grab, roll, stand, and sit... it's hard work. harder than I remember it of course. He may be developmentally delayed, we don't know yet, be may get a corneal transplant and see one day, we don't know yet. We do know that he is having pallet surgery and orbit expander surgeries in the near future.

We push harder for him to reach for his milestone, but mostly we just love him, cuddle him, and spoil him.

The Trouble with Help is...

I'm not asking for Mary Freaking Poppins.... but I am asking you to do the job in the description signed, agree upon, and paid for! I blame hubby for not properly training her, because now I have to be the bad guy. Because I have some HIGH expectations...duh.

Yes when I said you had to take care of two children all day, yeah, I really did mean both of them. Not picking one and checking in on the other to see if hubby needs to do something with her instead of doing whatever it is he is doing.

Nanny = much needed down time for him, someone to be there when he's off and running from appointment to appointment, someone to tend to, feed, wash, play with and be there for the two while hubby is doing one of the million and one projects that he also has to do. Yes I understand we are in the house and it's easy to want our help or have one of us jump in and just do what needs to be done, but I have school work to do on my days off, and sometimes yeah he wants to just play a video game. But that's why we hired someone to work even though we are home. So since we PAY a decent wage for not a very hard job, I'd just appreciate it if it was done.

I just don't get the disconnect from the interview to the actual job position. I think hubby is the common denominator and the reason for the confusion. So we had a talk, I clarified my expectations with him, showed him the job description and want him to be clear with the Nanny that I expect her to do the job we agreed upon. Most importantly I probably made it clear that, we are not friends, you are not family,(even though you remind me of my MIL), and the children are your PRIORITY. and that

Additionally, NO it is not ok that just because Hubby said he can't do anything with her hair, that YOU leave her looking like Medusa. WHERE ON EARTH IS THAT ACCEPTABLE?

PS I think that once school starts... hubby may need to do without the Nanny... he can surely take care of one child on his own all day.

Happenings

Court for N is continued till October, so no return home or alternate placement just yet. Which means we need to get her somehow enrolled into school, without a current IEP, birth certificate, proof of immunizations, etc.

D's Mom has made 3 visits, outside of doctors appointments, that she begged for in court, over the past 4 months. *** Today was a visit day... lets just say that number did not increase at all***

Just waiting on an adoption court date for E now!