We may not get to adopt S afterall. Today I found out she has 12-14 other siblings. She's Mom's 10th pregnancy and Dad has 4 other children. Apparently BM has children in groups and her family is raising those other 7-9 children. She does not have any of them. There is no doubt that the case is going to go to and achieve severance. BM's last severance was a year ago. However, the tricky part is that there are siblings and family that could come forward to claim her. The saving grace is that she is high medical needs and not just anyone can pop up and become an acceptable placement family or not, but it is more likely of course.
Now 1 set of siblings lives with Maternal grandma.... BM is older than me... those children are 12-14. The other set lives with Paternal Aunt, not biodad of Miss S, the youngest of which is 5.
The of course biodad, those who has agreed to sign his rights away, still has family that could request to be placed with the baby.
So there's that to consider now as we move towards April and then June. We have to have another whole adoption home study and everything done since ours has expired now too.
Friday, March 27, 2015
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Case Updates
Today was court for D and the biodad's rights were severed. Next court date for trial for severance for mom,...January! Seriously. April pretrial for Miss S, but if the AG files the paper correctly, and if bioday signs and biomom doesn't show... we could be adopting her sooner than D... if we get to adopt D at all by that point, a lot can happen in what 9 months! Next week we will have gad him for 1 year. Technically Miss S needs to be with us for 6 months before we could get an adoption date for her, which will be in June.
We have asked to have Mr C moved, but he's still here. His school is driving me nuts. The kid has gained a lot of weight and finding clothes to fit a short fat kid is hard. I think the school is over feeding him too.
Emily is in the PICU again this time with RSV and some how Strep, which hubby and I both have as well Everyone else has boogers :-)
We have asked to have Mr C moved, but he's still here. His school is driving me nuts. The kid has gained a lot of weight and finding clothes to fit a short fat kid is hard. I think the school is over feeding him too.
Emily is in the PICU again this time with RSV and some how Strep, which hubby and I both have as well Everyone else has boogers :-)
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Not expected, but kinda expected
Yesterday the CM for Miss Baby S came and said that in April they are moving to severance and that the biodad states he is not contesting, biomom is still mia, so they have her as abandoned. They asked if we wanted to be her adoptive placement. Of course we said yes.
Next week is the pre-trial for severance for Mr. D, his Biomom is contesting, so doesn't look like this will go well. Of course she is doing the bare minimum she has to, I really hope the judges see through her bs and see that his needs and best interests are not with her, heck two weeks in a row she forgot to confirm her visit with her parent aide, who she has to confirm with or there is no visit, because she just had so many things on her mind,aka she forgot all about her son.
Next week is the pre-trial for severance for Mr. D, his Biomom is contesting, so doesn't look like this will go well. Of course she is doing the bare minimum she has to, I really hope the judges see through her bs and see that his needs and best interests are not with her, heck two weeks in a row she forgot to confirm her visit with her parent aide, who she has to confirm with or there is no visit, because she just had so many things on her mind,aka she forgot all about her son.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Just doesn't mix
With us we have realized you just can not mix a teenager with babies.... especially if you are starting all over in the parenting game. Most especially if that teenager has Bipolar and PTSD diagnosis you are just now learning about!
Seriously, I'd rather take another drug weaning baby than a teenager with behaviors and a cognitive delay.
Officially gave the request to have him moved... course they now have 30 days to do so... so another month of this utter stress!
Seriously, I'd rather take another drug weaning baby than a teenager with behaviors and a cognitive delay.
Officially gave the request to have him moved... course they now have 30 days to do so... so another month of this utter stress!
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
The whiplash effects
(BTW.. this post is old) Today I have to attend a visit with D's birth Mom. She reappeared after 6 months. Went into Rehab and has requested visits and to "work her plan". Is this a last ditch attempt, or is this the beginning of yet another chance for her? The case plan says adoption, but that doesn't mean anything. I have so many hard feelings about this case already. I mean we've already had the "I" situation failure and that should have been a sure thing. Now since the AG mess up we've got to drag even more.
This system is so broken down it's crazy!
Mom spent to whole time tell me about her new round of therapy which is to be in a halfway house for two years...expecting D is wait around for her, just in case she manages to stick to something that long, I mean her other three kids couldn't make her, but hey... they have to give her a chance right, doesn't matter that he'll be 3 and in care since birth!
CPS thinks that because she is not effectively able to recover and parent a child like D that the new judge will do what is best for him. Mediation went no where as expected, since she still blames everyone else for her problems.
In the meantime he is growing and thriving and making awesome strides towards being a toddler.
This system is so broken down it's crazy!
Mom spent to whole time tell me about her new round of therapy which is to be in a halfway house for two years...expecting D is wait around for her, just in case she manages to stick to something that long, I mean her other three kids couldn't make her, but hey... they have to give her a chance right, doesn't matter that he'll be 3 and in care since birth!
CPS thinks that because she is not effectively able to recover and parent a child like D that the new judge will do what is best for him. Mediation went no where as expected, since she still blames everyone else for her problems.
In the meantime he is growing and thriving and making awesome strides towards being a toddler.
Behavior City
Mr. C is full of them and most of them are aggressive and destructive. At this time we are trying to work with the team to get some services in place to help, or to find him another placement. Supposedly there has been a vendor call placed out to find one, since his interstate change of custody is going to take another 6 months or so if we are lucky.
It's hard trying to deal with a raging 14 year old who acts like a 3 year old. Especially since this is a stopping ground for him and he knows it.
We shall see what happens over the next few weeks.
It's hard trying to deal with a raging 14 year old who acts like a 3 year old. Especially since this is a stopping ground for him and he knows it.
We shall see what happens over the next few weeks.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Warning- Resentful Vent Post
Yup thats me, I'm resentful. I resent having to work 40 hours in three days to come home and the dishes are days old piled high in the sink. I'mn resentful that when I get up I have to make dinner for everyone, because the person who should be doing it is playing a video game, or on the cell phone, or watching something on tv, while the kids entertain themselves. I'm resentful and overwhelmed with the amount of energy I don't have, but by the amount of work there is always to do.
Yes I give props for being awesome at taking the kids to the doctors, setting up feeding pumps, changing diapers (less frequently then should be done), and doing a few halfass bedtime routines a few times a week. But I'm resentful of your version of "busted my ass cleaning all day", when all you did was sweep and mop the floors, yet there are piles of laundry,the bathrooms are gross, and every surface is cluttered, dusty, and covered in dirty fingerprints or dog hair... but you busted your ass all day cleaning.
I'm resentful that the paperwork is all left to me, but the spending of the money is all left to him. He doesn't even know how much it is, and how far it should go because he spends and spends and spends and doesn't account for it.... yes one more thing for me to do.
I've tried hiring a Nanny to help out, only to find that extra help turns into extra headaches and less getting done. Teaching someone to do something half-assed doesn't help. I've recently hired a friend to help out on the nights that I am working so that he can get some sleep. Of course then he stays up late watching the tv, playing video games or on the cell phone too.
I'm resentful that there are two other adults in this house who take, take, and take some more. I don't consider holding a baby, while I give another a bath, or watching two children who entertain themselves for a hour every once in a while rendered payment for my utter and total support. I am resentful that a grown man isn't acting like a man at all and has also stopped contributing to the household, but hasn't stopped eating me out of house and home, or using my car and taking money from my daughter.
And yes I am resentful that I have had to put school on hold because I have no time for anything, as a matter of fact I am writing this post after a 13.5 hour shift and on ZERO sleep, after doing said dishes, doing feeding therapy with two babies, then administering late meds, breathing treatments and getting dinner ready to cook.
I am so resentful infact that I contemplate daily throwing in the towel altogether. Right now the only thing I am waiting on is the outcome of Mr. D's case. I am pretty sure that if we get to adopt him we are moving into a smaller place and quitting foster care and someone is going to have to get a part-time job. If we don't get to adopt him... I am moving to a smaller place and walking away from it all. :-(
Yes I give props for being awesome at taking the kids to the doctors, setting up feeding pumps, changing diapers (less frequently then should be done), and doing a few halfass bedtime routines a few times a week. But I'm resentful of your version of "busted my ass cleaning all day", when all you did was sweep and mop the floors, yet there are piles of laundry,the bathrooms are gross, and every surface is cluttered, dusty, and covered in dirty fingerprints or dog hair... but you busted your ass all day cleaning.
I'm resentful that the paperwork is all left to me, but the spending of the money is all left to him. He doesn't even know how much it is, and how far it should go because he spends and spends and spends and doesn't account for it.... yes one more thing for me to do.
I've tried hiring a Nanny to help out, only to find that extra help turns into extra headaches and less getting done. Teaching someone to do something half-assed doesn't help. I've recently hired a friend to help out on the nights that I am working so that he can get some sleep. Of course then he stays up late watching the tv, playing video games or on the cell phone too.
I'm resentful that there are two other adults in this house who take, take, and take some more. I don't consider holding a baby, while I give another a bath, or watching two children who entertain themselves for a hour every once in a while rendered payment for my utter and total support. I am resentful that a grown man isn't acting like a man at all and has also stopped contributing to the household, but hasn't stopped eating me out of house and home, or using my car and taking money from my daughter.
And yes I am resentful that I have had to put school on hold because I have no time for anything, as a matter of fact I am writing this post after a 13.5 hour shift and on ZERO sleep, after doing said dishes, doing feeding therapy with two babies, then administering late meds, breathing treatments and getting dinner ready to cook.
I am so resentful infact that I contemplate daily throwing in the towel altogether. Right now the only thing I am waiting on is the outcome of Mr. D's case. I am pretty sure that if we get to adopt him we are moving into a smaller place and quitting foster care and someone is going to have to get a part-time job. If we don't get to adopt him... I am moving to a smaller place and walking away from it all. :-(
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