Miss E as she is referred to in the social media world is our 4 year old. Her adoption is sooo close now. She has many many issues that with every doctors appointment we find out is more and more, yet daily she progresses and meets strides we never knew she could. She has many congenital birth defects. She has a tracheostomy which requires frequent suctioning... mostly because she produces so much spit. She puts everything in her mouth and is exploring so much now through oral exploration. Most kids who have never eaten usually have a severe oral aversion, she can't figure out how to swallow most days, but she sure likes to taste things. We are hoping with some feeding therapy that she may eventually learn to use her tongue and swallowing muscles to actually eat. The ENT thinks that she may even end up decannulated, trach out and close the stoma, when she is older. She was on a vent when she first came, now we can cap the trach and she tries to make sounds and can hold her o2 saturation up in the high 90's to the 100% range. She can't walk or sit on her own, but she stood the other day while I was taking her out of the feeding chair, the fact that she can use force to stand with support is amazing considering she has severe brain damage to her cerebellum.
However, she is a spunky, opinionated little girl who is not afraid to make her needs known. What once was an all Mickey Mouse Club watching marathon has been replaced with Max and Ruby, and she'll sign more and say what sounds like Mama, when she sees Max on screen. She seeks out new toys to play with and loves to "play" with other children, she to the gravitates older ones though. She is a fashionista little diva thanks to her Daddy.
Most of all she is loved and despite the 4 year old temper tantrums, she is so easy to care for. If it weren't for the frequent suctioning requirements you'd think she was a typical kid.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Parenting Special Needs Children Part one...
I feel like I never mention that our children are special needs kids. I guess it doesn't really matter to me, doesn't make things much different, except that they have a ton more doctors appointments on a regular basis. After parenting two typical and even advanced children, this is a whole new experience to me, but I love it.
But there are differences....D is almost 7 months old and is actively three months behind in development. If you took a 3-4 month old and put them together his chunky butt would be bigger, but they'd be closer in development than he'd be to a nearly 7 month old. He's blind of course so he doesn't have the curiosity factor to encourage normal locomotion. He only moves around now during a temper tantrum, and boy can he get around fast in his reverse combat crawl! He also spent the first three months of his life in leg casts and his GI issues made for a very cranky three months. Things like his eye fell out again, or can you put his eye back in, are routine sayings around our house. We've had to adapt to a "different" feeding style as he not only has a g-tube for his formula, but he has a cleft pallet. He will only take rice cereal with apples and bananas in it, WTG D! However, sometimes when he is too excited or during a very strong temper tantrum it comes out his nose. Beware if you are in his path as hubby found out, cuz he can shoot it pretty far.
Despite those things, we are constantly thinking up ways to encourage him to reach, grab, roll, stand, and sit... it's hard work. harder than I remember it of course. He may be developmentally delayed, we don't know yet, be may get a corneal transplant and see one day, we don't know yet. We do know that he is having pallet surgery and orbit expander surgeries in the near future.
We push harder for him to reach for his milestone, but mostly we just love him, cuddle him, and spoil him.
But there are differences....D is almost 7 months old and is actively three months behind in development. If you took a 3-4 month old and put them together his chunky butt would be bigger, but they'd be closer in development than he'd be to a nearly 7 month old. He's blind of course so he doesn't have the curiosity factor to encourage normal locomotion. He only moves around now during a temper tantrum, and boy can he get around fast in his reverse combat crawl! He also spent the first three months of his life in leg casts and his GI issues made for a very cranky three months. Things like his eye fell out again, or can you put his eye back in, are routine sayings around our house. We've had to adapt to a "different" feeding style as he not only has a g-tube for his formula, but he has a cleft pallet. He will only take rice cereal with apples and bananas in it, WTG D! However, sometimes when he is too excited or during a very strong temper tantrum it comes out his nose. Beware if you are in his path as hubby found out, cuz he can shoot it pretty far.
Despite those things, we are constantly thinking up ways to encourage him to reach, grab, roll, stand, and sit... it's hard work. harder than I remember it of course. He may be developmentally delayed, we don't know yet, be may get a corneal transplant and see one day, we don't know yet. We do know that he is having pallet surgery and orbit expander surgeries in the near future.
We push harder for him to reach for his milestone, but mostly we just love him, cuddle him, and spoil him.
Friday, August 1, 2014
The Trouble with Help is...
I'm not asking for Mary Freaking Poppins.... but I am asking you to do the job in the description signed, agree upon, and paid for! I blame hubby for not properly training her, because now I have to be the bad guy. Because I have some HIGH expectations...duh.
Yes when I said you had to take care of two children all day, yeah, I really did mean both of them. Not picking one and checking in on the other to see if hubby needs to do something with her instead of doing whatever it is he is doing.
Nanny = much needed down time for him, someone to be there when he's off and running from appointment to appointment, someone to tend to, feed, wash, play with and be there for the two while hubby is doing one of the million and one projects that he also has to do. Yes I understand we are in the house and it's easy to want our help or have one of us jump in and just do what needs to be done, but I have school work to do on my days off, and sometimes yeah he wants to just play a video game. But that's why we hired someone to work even though we are home. So since we PAY a decent wage for not a very hard job, I'd just appreciate it if it was done.
I just don't get the disconnect from the interview to the actual job position. I think hubby is the common denominator and the reason for the confusion. So we had a talk, I clarified my expectations with him, showed him the job description and want him to be clear with the Nanny that I expect her to do the job we agreed upon. Most importantly I probably made it clear that, we are not friends, you are not family,(even though you remind me of my MIL), and the children are your PRIORITY. and that
Additionally, NO it is not ok that just because Hubby said he can't do anything with her hair, that YOU leave her looking like Medusa. WHERE ON EARTH IS THAT ACCEPTABLE?
PS I think that once school starts... hubby may need to do without the Nanny... he can surely take care of one child on his own all day.
Yes when I said you had to take care of two children all day, yeah, I really did mean both of them. Not picking one and checking in on the other to see if hubby needs to do something with her instead of doing whatever it is he is doing.
Nanny = much needed down time for him, someone to be there when he's off and running from appointment to appointment, someone to tend to, feed, wash, play with and be there for the two while hubby is doing one of the million and one projects that he also has to do. Yes I understand we are in the house and it's easy to want our help or have one of us jump in and just do what needs to be done, but I have school work to do on my days off, and sometimes yeah he wants to just play a video game. But that's why we hired someone to work even though we are home. So since we PAY a decent wage for not a very hard job, I'd just appreciate it if it was done.
I just don't get the disconnect from the interview to the actual job position. I think hubby is the common denominator and the reason for the confusion. So we had a talk, I clarified my expectations with him, showed him the job description and want him to be clear with the Nanny that I expect her to do the job we agreed upon. Most importantly I probably made it clear that, we are not friends, you are not family,(even though you remind me of my MIL), and the children are your PRIORITY. and that
Additionally, NO it is not ok that just because Hubby said he can't do anything with her hair, that YOU leave her looking like Medusa. WHERE ON EARTH IS THAT ACCEPTABLE?
PS I think that once school starts... hubby may need to do without the Nanny... he can surely take care of one child on his own all day.
Happenings
Court for N is continued till October, so no return home or alternate placement just yet. Which means we need to get her somehow enrolled into school, without a current IEP, birth certificate, proof of immunizations, etc.
D's Mom has made 3 visits, outside of doctors appointments, that she begged for in court, over the past 4 months. *** Today was a visit day... lets just say that number did not increase at all***
Just waiting on an adoption court date for E now!
D's Mom has made 3 visits, outside of doctors appointments, that she begged for in court, over the past 4 months. *** Today was a visit day... lets just say that number did not increase at all***
Just waiting on an adoption court date for E now!
Friday, July 25, 2014
Placement Hearing for one missed visits for the other.
Turns out N has a placement hearing on Monday to determine if she can go home. :-)
D's Mom did not call to cancel or show up to his visit today. I was going to give her props for making two in a row finally, but guess not, course she was over an hour late to her two hour visit last week, but oh well it is the nature of the beast.
D's Mom did not call to cancel or show up to his visit today. I was going to give her props for making two in a row finally, but guess not, course she was over an hour late to her two hour visit last week, but oh well it is the nature of the beast.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
I feel like...
I should have so much more to write. But alas I must have writers block or something. Things are happening here. Exciting things. But just not things that spark..."oh I should write that" Seriously no one really cares but me anyway.
We are getting closer to Miss E being officially adopted. We found a new Nanny who totally reminds me of my mother in law. Miss N's father is causing shit again,this time CPS HAD done their job and was able to back us on it. He is such a f'ing tool. But no such luck that she'd be placed somewhere else, she's still here.
Mr. D is getting a new nursery and yeah we are painting in his room and putting up a chair rail. His new crib set came this week, I have a few more things on order,but it's also neutral enough to just be a boy room,of course my hope is that it remains his room. With that said he's actually still in my room, but if I can get another monitor and video set, I may, might, maybe, let him sleep in there. Pictures to come once completed.
Also with D is that we are going to facilitate a visit with his parents at our home. CPS is hoping that once they get an idea of where he is, it'll be easier for them to agree that, since they state that they can't take care of him, that we'd be the next best option.
We are getting closer to Miss E being officially adopted. We found a new Nanny who totally reminds me of my mother in law. Miss N's father is causing shit again,this time CPS HAD done their job and was able to back us on it. He is such a f'ing tool. But no such luck that she'd be placed somewhere else, she's still here.
Mr. D is getting a new nursery and yeah we are painting in his room and putting up a chair rail. His new crib set came this week, I have a few more things on order,but it's also neutral enough to just be a boy room,of course my hope is that it remains his room. With that said he's actually still in my room, but if I can get another monitor and video set, I may, might, maybe, let him sleep in there. Pictures to come once completed.
Also with D is that we are going to facilitate a visit with his parents at our home. CPS is hoping that once they get an idea of where he is, it'll be easier for them to agree that, since they state that they can't take care of him, that we'd be the next best option.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Iproducts suck...
And make it hard to blog, but hubby got me a new laptop and now I shall be able to blog more.
Today is a big day and I will find out more information but as of now there isn't much new. They had court for D yesterday, today his CPS worker comes and there is a CFT for him as well. The biomom called hubby yesterday and said she was told she could come and visit the baby whenever she wanted...I was like ummm... NO! So we shall see what CPS actually said, because biggest thing, we do NOT allow family visits in our home unless the child is already severed and adoptable PERIOD. I'm curious as to what the case plan is at this point to. It was adoption by family member but no one has heard from the family member, and the Pediatrician is still saying he will try and block a reunification with the baby and any member of the family, I'm not sure he really has much "say" but it's still a nice gesture. *** update - court went and no changes. CPS came and stated that what she meant was, " If we adopt him then the adoption can be open, and if you ask I am sure they will let you come and visit anytime."***
N is still here, court for her is the 23rd, at which time I hope to hear that both aunt and dad have been trained and she will be ordered home. I won't hold my breath, but I can sure hope. Sometimes there are just situations that you just need to run their courses faster than others.
I may have come to the conclusion that foster care may not be for me... or at the very least not without a fulltime Nanny or a part-time job.
Today is a big day and I will find out more information but as of now there isn't much new. They had court for D yesterday, today his CPS worker comes and there is a CFT for him as well. The biomom called hubby yesterday and said she was told she could come and visit the baby whenever she wanted...I was like ummm... NO! So we shall see what CPS actually said, because biggest thing, we do NOT allow family visits in our home unless the child is already severed and adoptable PERIOD. I'm curious as to what the case plan is at this point to. It was adoption by family member but no one has heard from the family member, and the Pediatrician is still saying he will try and block a reunification with the baby and any member of the family, I'm not sure he really has much "say" but it's still a nice gesture. *** update - court went and no changes. CPS came and stated that what she meant was, " If we adopt him then the adoption can be open, and if you ask I am sure they will let you come and visit anytime."***
N is still here, court for her is the 23rd, at which time I hope to hear that both aunt and dad have been trained and she will be ordered home. I won't hold my breath, but I can sure hope. Sometimes there are just situations that you just need to run their courses faster than others.
I may have come to the conclusion that foster care may not be for me... or at the very least not without a fulltime Nanny or a part-time job.
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